Thank you Universe for the gift of my Sparky and our great LOVE.
Each moment is truly a blessing I am deeply grateful for.
HAPPY NEW YEAR LOVELIES! BIG HUGS!
Peace & Love.
TRUST
We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. --E.M. Forster
Last night I felt it was time to read my tarot cards for the upcoming year...and all the things I've been journaling about--that have been marinating in my heart, were present in the spread. This year is going to be about commitment, discipline, and listening attentively to my truth. But even more, the message of the cards was so strong--my 34th year of life is going to be completely about TRUST.
That's when it occurred to me that I found a word to guide me as I journey ahead. I wasn't really looking...but after sitting with my cards, it made sense. It felt right.
I wrote it on a piece of paper, and placed it on my nightstand, next to our bed. I have a feeling I'll be coming back to this word again and again.
Peace & Love.
Things I'm Excited About
CREATIVE EVERY DAY
This new year is going to be all about going back to the basics in two things that are very special and dear to my heart: Painting and Yoga. Or Yoga and Painting. (Depending on my mood!)
The thing that I LOVE about the internet and bloggyland is the opportunity to have support, inspiration, and accountability at your fingertips. I already signed up for this year's Creative Every Day challenge, that the awesome, talented, beautiful, and lovely Leah hosts at her blog Creative Every Day.
For the month of January, her Creative Every Day theme is "The Body", and during 2009, even though I was a part of this challenge, I very rarely relied on her monthly prompts. I am going to challenge myself to be more open to these suggestions, and see how they can help guide my journey as a Painter.
DEAR UNIVERSE
There are a few things I really have my heart set on for the new year, but are uncertain on the "how" they are gonna happen bit--so I'm taking this opportunity to voice these wishes to the Universe.....just so we're both on the same page!!!
- I wish to take the Yoga Teacher Training at the Sivananda Yoga Center in northern California this summer.
- I wish to take an Expressive Arts workshop with the amazing Chris Zydel.
- I wish to fly in a hot air balloon over Sedona with my honey Hansel.
- I wish to go to the Grand Canyon with my honey Hansel.
- I wish to meet some of the cool bloggers that I adore and make Creative Juicy magic happen!
- I wish to launch my online workshop and bring great joy to many.
- I wish to find numerous ways each and every month to spread LOVE on a larger scale.
- I wish to go to Costa Rica and find the place where I will begin building Dirty Footprints Studio.
Thank you Universe for listening and getting cookin 'on these special requests!
A PROMISE
Last, I LOVE the poem I Promise Myself by Christian D. Larson. It is something I have taped to my bathroom mirror and desk at work, written in my personal journal, and kept in my purse all the time. I made a promise in November that I would post this poem on Dirty Footprints Studio every month on the last Saturday, and I plan to keep that promise. But....even further, this year, I would like to take the poem deeper into a meditation--focusing on one line each month. I hope you will join me on this journey, and by the end of the year, we will have actually personified this poem and hopefully adopted it into our daily lives even stronger.
That's it Lovelies!!! Thank you for all the LOVE & support throughout 2009! But enough talking....now onto making our intentions come alive!
I wish you a Creative Juicy New Year full of LOVE, happiness, creativity, and excellent health!
Peace & Love.
December Views: 7 AM
I used to practice Yoga every single morning. I used to.
I used to do this for years.
Until 2009.
Then stress started to convince me that sleep was more important. Stress started to convince me that mornings weren't that special.
Stress lied.
When I think of 2009, my only regret is letting stress convince me of such silly nonsense and then take over the pilot seat.
I know the benefits of discipline and the bliss of an early morning rise. I know when to listen to my body and yes--stay in bed. But stress is a trickster, a hustler, an exquisite con-man. Stress will seduce you with pretty little lies so that you slip further and further from your truth and deeper into darkness.
I woke up at 7AM this morning and gave stress the finger!
It's a start of a new year. A new journey. I celebrate the small steps and I'm making room for the bigger part of me to take precedence.
Peace & Love.
Sometimes
Sometimes it's just hard.
Sometimes it's just hard to be the caregiver. To see the one you love in pain, falling apart, and not the person you once knew.
Sometimes it's hard to give your love unconditionally or to be patient and understanding.
Sometimes it's hard not to be selfish or to try to be still in the present, when you feel like you're standing on a roller coaster.
Sometimes I have to remind myself that I am prepared for all of this. That these are the moments I can practice the truest of Yoga, and maybe--MAYBE ascend my own ego in the process.
Sometimes I have to remind myself that everything in life is a gift.
The ones I love. The ones who love me.
Love itself and the evolution it is under.
The laughter, the pain, the way things are.
The way things can be, and all the moments in between.
Peace & Love.
Vulnerable & New
The last time I attempted a self portrait I was in art school, about 15 years ago. But I want to begin this journey with a deeper honesty. I picked up the brush, sat in front of a mirror, and on my 34th birthday I started from the beginning again.
Vulnerable and new. That's how I feel. New to this painting thing, even though I've been doing it forever now. Vulnerable, because I have to accept where I am, and how much I have to learn, and all the time I've wasted painting...but wasn't really painting at all.
I'm getting back to basics. Diving into the painting process itself. Learning all the things I thought I forgot. Waking up from a deep sleep.
Peace & Love.
A Birthday
I intend to navigate through my 34th year of life as an explorer into the deepest valley of my heart.
No special word to declare as a guide.
No solid plans I can show.
Not going to scream from the mountain top that this is going to be the best year ever--
or that I have things in store that are larger then life!
It's no longer about words, thoughts, or planning.
It's not even about a dream.
Instead I'm ready for the real journey.
To unwrap, unravel, untangle, and unwind--
To release and reveal.
To dig deeper and get closer to something
raw
vulnerable
honest.
To shed the old me.
Peace & Love.
I Promise Myself
I PROMISE MYSELF
To be so strong that nothing can disturb my peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person I meet.
To make all my friends feel that there is something worth while in them.
To look at the sunny side of everything and make my optimism come true.
To think only of the best, to work only for the best
and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of
others as I am about my own.
To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the
greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful expression at all times and give a smile
to every living creature I meet.
To give so much time to improving myself that I
have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear,
and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
To think well of myself and to proclaim this fact to the world,
not in loud word, but in great deeds.
To live in the faith that the whole world is on my side,
so long as I am true to the best that is in me.
--Christian D. Larson
December Views: Christmas Oracle
Our tradition is to have Asian food for Christmas every year....
At the end of a yummy meal I crack open my fortune cookie and....
I hope your Christmas was magical as well!
Peace & Love.
Victoria Brouhard: Launching A Dream
In honor of Launching a Dream month here at Dirty Footprints Studio, Victoria Brouhard is kindly sharing her journey of launching her dream. She is such an amazing chica, a soulful blogger, and a person with a big heart that wants to help you launch your dream as well!
Hi Victoria! Thank you so much for being here at Dirty Footprints Studio to share your story about launching your dream. For those Lovelies that are meeting you for the first time could you please introduce yourself.
Hi there! My name is Victoria Brouhard and I'm a scuba instructor turned IT professional turned life coach - how's that for a strange mix?
The ridiculously short version of the story is that after years and years of really dreading going to work every day (yes, even when I was teaching scuba diving in the Caribbean), I decided I had to figure out a way to change that. I did lots of reading and journaling, and working with coaches, and eventually I said, "Screw it, I'm going to train as a life coach and if I decide I don't want to make it a business, that's okay."
I completed my coach training about three years ago, but when I went to launch my practice at that time, I completely freaked out.
I spent the next couple of years figuring out why that happened, and what to do about it. I launched my website in August and now it's been almost two months since I quit my job to focus on my business full-time.
How did you know it was the right time to quit your "regular job" and leap into your dream full time?
When I had worked through my fears enough to launch my business, I got a really good response. By that point, I had dropped back to four days a week at my job, and my intention was to keep the job while growing my business until I was replacing the majority of my income via coaching. What I realized pretty quickly, though, was that I simply wasn't going to be able to do both successfully. Beyond my job responsibilities, I was only able to manage keeping my existing clients happy. There was no additional growth happening.
I'd done a lot of inner work to get comfortable with the fact that I really did want to do this, and to get clear that deep down I really do believe I can do it.
It's not a choice that's for everybody. What it comes down to is understanding how much risk you can handle. What amount and what kind of support do you need in place in order to move ahead without losing sleep every night?
What type of support and/or resources did you find helpful in making this transition?
I have a great support network of like-minded friends and mentors who I went to for business advice but also for virtual hugs and empathy when things were hard. And "like-minded" is the operative phrase, because some great advice I got early on was to limit who I shared my plans with. Sharing with the wrong person can lead to a lot of second-guessing and discouragement, which I learned the hard way.
I also committed to investing in myself and my business, to make sure I got help in the areas that needed it. For example, I paid for professional copywriting for my website, because I was spinning my wheels when I tried to do it myself.
And I worked heavily with other coaches, who really helped me to connect with my heart to know what was the right next step for me. Otherwise, it becomes too easy to wait for the "perfect" time to move ahead.
What type of support and/or resources do you find helpful now that you are working on getting your business fully up and running full time?
Mostly it's the same support and resources that were helpful for launching - friends, mentors, coaches and other professional service people.
I think really it's about making sure all (or as many as possible) of my needs are met. That includes business learning, self-care, continuing to engage compassionately with my fears and resistance, and generally giving myself what I need so that I don't turn into a quivering blob on the floor.
I'm also seeing how different tasks associated with my business affect me differently. When I have to do things that I don't enjoy or that are a struggle for me, I feel drained, which means there's recovery time involved. But when I'm spending time on the things I do best and love doing - like helping clients or writing for my blog - I feel energized and that helps carry me through the day. I no longer see it as a luxury to hire someone to help with the tasks that leave me feeling burned out.
How has this transition changed your Creative Juicy Life on other levels other than just work?
It's barely been two months since I quit, but already I've noticed that I'm starting to schedule my time differently. For example, I can go for a walk outside while it's still light out, or run errands when there's no traffic.
I'm also noticing that work is more integrated into my life, so I don't feel so much like I'm split in two. When I was working at the job, I really felt like I needed to hide a lot of who I am, and there were also things I couldn't say on my blog. That sense of having two different lives is starting to disappear.
My work feels more and more like it's an extension of who I am, rather than just a set of skills I use for a designated purpose.
Now that you are actually living your dream, what pleasant surprises have you discovered about being self-employed?
The sense of freedom from having control over my schedule is even better than I imagined.
And I no longer suffer from Sunday Night Syndrome, which I used to get so badly that it would actually start on Saturday morning or even Friday night. Talk about putting a damper on the weekend.
What surprise challenges have you encountered so far as well?
My body reacted to the transition a lot more strongly than I thought it would. I was sick or dead-tired for over a month after quitting. I had heard that would probably happen, and even though I believed it, I still wound up fighting against it. So it's been hard to establish new routines while I work around some of the physical fall-out.
I'm starting to see glimmers of new routines forming now, but it feels like I'm having to learn how to manage my time all over again. It's a work in process, for sure.
How can you as a coach help others on their Creative Juicy Life journey?
This is a great question, and I'm always amazed by how much it varies from person to person, and even from session to session. I don't follow a cookie-cutter formula - I make sure I'm meeting the client where ever they are, and go from there.
Sometimes I'm simply confirming that they aren't crazy to want what they want, nor are they crazy to be afraid of getting it. I think people really underestimate the importance of acknowledging (and receiving acknowledgment of) how difficult this launching-your-dream stuff can be.
Sometimes I'm helping them get really clear on what support systems they need so they can move ahead while showing themselves compassion. Pushing through the fear really isn't the answer. I tried that method, and nearly walked away from being a coach completely, because I thought if I really wanted to do this, I'd be doing it already.
Sometimes we brainstorm ideas and create manageable project plans so that it's easy to keep making progress without becoming overwhelmed by all the steps involved.
In some ways, a lot of what I do for people is to offer a safe environment where they can look at their dreams and how to launch them with someone who's been there and really gets why it's important and why it's scary.
Where and how can the readers of Dirty Footprints Studio reach you?
My blog and other contact info are at http://www.victoriabrouhard.com. I also hang out on Twitter - I'm http://www.twitter.com/victoriashmoria. I'd love it if you came and said hi!
Thank you so much for taking the time to share your Creative Juicy journey with us. Big hugs!! Peace & Love.
Hugs to you, too, Connie! Thanks so much for inviting me. I love your work and can't wait to hear more about your big dream as it unfolds.
Thank You Anthony Bourdain
Last week I was watching an episode of No Reservations with Anthony Bourdain. He was in Russia, and visited this painter that lived out in the beautiful countryside--far from anything "civilized". It's pretty comical--because at dinner the painter, in traditional Russian style--insisted on toasting to almost everything that was said in conversation...and Anthony, along with his sidekick Samir, get pretty drunk on vodka quickly. Besides that....seeing this older man with his easel painting the landscape struck me like a double shot of vodka! Anthony Bourdain says that it was here he felt the "soul" of Russia both in this man's art and the food that was served.
The soul of Russia.
The soul.
It's a little silly for me to admit, but I had a major epiphany happen during that segment.
Major.
I picked up my journal and wrote. And ever since, it has been something heavy weighing on my mind.
When I was a kiddo...when anyone ever asked what I wanted to do when I grow up...I always responded with "Be an Artist", which for me meant "A Painter". That's all I did---all the time! I pictured myself much like that old man--living out in the middle of somewhere, engulfed in nature, painting daily---that is what I wanted to be. In high school especially---being a Painter is how I lived. In college--it brought me scholarships even. But then something happened. I'm not sure what even. I can't pinpoint it--or figure out where the change began---but my dream started to become buried--possibly expectations, or responsibilities, or insecurity, or being tired with struggling, or just from the lack of time. Who knows.
I had big plans for this new year ahead you see. BIG plans....but, more and more, my heart keeps telling me to put them aside for awhile...and unwrap. Go backwards a bit. Learn how to paint again. Paint, Connie paint! And don't paint that shit you've been painting for your Etsy shop anymore. Paint because you are interested in seeing where your idea will go. Paint because that's what keeps you up at night--and what intrigues you about life. Paint to make that little girl inside you happy again. Paint, Connie...paint! And let everything else take care of itself.
Peace & Love.
Coming Together
I've started a second painting.
(You should listen too--click on their names for some good tunes!)
I've been painting in the living room the past few days, instead of the studio. I'm not sure why.
Just yesterday I had an incredible dream asleep in our new bed.
I was blessed with a glimpse at the new direction I'm heading in.
Something told me to throw all caution to the wind--
see what happens--
remind myself not to hold my breath--
and paint as much as I can.
So here I go.
Peace & Love.
PS Thank you for all the painting LOVE you poured into your comments yesterday!
I feel like such a rockstar. Thank you. Thank you!
Extraordinary Ordinary
(painting: 30 inches by 24 inches of LOVE.)
This is going to sound silly.....but Hansel and I got a new bed on Friday.....and not only is it a million times more comfortable, luxurious, and fabulous then the nasty bed we've been sleeping on for years now---it has seemed to inspire me! (Or maybe it's just having a good night sleep for the first time in a long time that can ignite inspiration.)
Anyways....I loved painting this. I used this December View photo HERE as a reference. But there hits a point when you are painting when you let go of your references and instead let your creativity and intuition take over.
Funny thing is I couldn't sleep Saturday night--because all I wanted to do was paint the bed!!
And now....I find myself inspired by everything in our home.
Isn't that the greatest thing about Art? Inspiration is everywhere.....we even live with it...we just need to look at the ordinary as an opportunity to make it extraordinary!
Peace & Love.
Paint Connie.....Paint
I took four wood panels already covered with a lovely background of color and texture.
I picked up my brush and started to paint in a rapid, quick, messy fashion.
The panels started to take form---started to look like abstracts I've created before.
Started to look like abstract paintings I've seen others do.
Started to look forced and simply a boring mess.
I'll be honest, they started to look like shit.
And I sat in the middle of my studio, on my red rug, wondering where did the magic go.
Started to wonder what's the point--who gives a damn about painting anyways.
What a waste of time and money.
Then this song by Norah Jones came on my pandora station.
I thought back to days in San Diego.
Evening.
Hansel and I holding hands walking along the shore.
I could feel the salt in the air. I could see the glow of the city by my side.
I remembered how Norah Jones always plays on the radio in San Diego when I'm there....
I remembered the mushroom risotto I always eat when I visit, and the tiny hotel room we adore.
I love how everything is slower in memories.
I love that feeling of longing mixed with sweetness.
I love how you can be somewhere again, for just a moment.
And that's all it took--a song and a memory.
And I felt at peace.
I picked up my brush.
I focused on one panel, and I painted what sat in front of me.
I was looking for answers, you see....when I started.
And after the storm of my emotions settled,
All it took was to find beauty in the simplest things sitting in front of me.
Paint Connie....paint.
Peace & Love.
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