I woke up this morning thinking "Oh my goodness...I don't want to go back to work tomorrow."
Yes, that was the VERY first thing that entered my mind. I hadn't even gotten out of bed yet. My arms, legs, and head were still in the same state that they were seconds ago in slumber--but look at my mean, mean, MEAN mind....trying to spoil a good Sunday from the get go.
I got up anyways and proceeded to throw on some Yoga clothes, wash my face, brush my teeth, and attempt a decent hair-do, then off I went to my Sunday morning Yoga class.
In the car, a huge lump started to form in both my throat and the bottom of my stomach as my mind began to create a long list of things I HAVE to do before tomorrow.
Clean the apartment that has gotten way out of control. Damn it.
Get lesson plans together. Damn it.
Tidy up the studio. Damn it.
Laundry. Double damn it.
Go shopping. Aaaggh.
Walk Nyla. Oh that's not so bad.
Clean the bathroom. Fuck.
Read my Yoga book. Yay!
Plan out meals for the week--what will I take for lunch?
Get gas. Damn it.
Etc. Etc. Damn it. Etc.
Then, almost to my Yoga class, I started to think--"Why?!?!"
No. More like a loud, screaming "WHYYYYYYYY?!?!?! WHY CONNIE!?!?! WHY?" Why didn't you get your act together during your two weeks off and do some of your school work then? Why didn't you keep up with the house work? Why didn't you plan ahead better so your Sunday would be restful....peaceful....delightful? Why? Why? Why?
My answer....because I was fully enjoying long moments of laziness. I was LOVEING spending time taking long walks with Hansel, and enjoying lazy meals together watching movies. I was blissful spending my days painting, reading, and doing Yoga. I was over indulging in hours at the coffee shop journaling and dreaming. I was wasting time partying with friends more then usual. I was taking a much needed, a much desired, a much appreciated break from the stress bomb that was 2009!
That's' why my home looks the way it does...and my work for school is a bit dusty.
Take that mean mind!
But...out of nowhere...a beautiful ray of light zapped into my head!
(Yes--it was very much like that!)
This thought came like lightning from a storm and told me--that these dreadful thoughts I was having about both tomorrow and then going back and rehashing the last two weeks---means I'm spending all my time in both the past and the future--and totally letting my beautiful Sunday slip away. And here it wasn't even 9 AM yet and my tricky mind was trying to already have me at school and steal my last day of vacation from me. Bastard!
That's when I fully realized all that yakkity-yak-yak that goes on in my Yoga classes and the books I read and the Yoga blogs I cruise about being fully in the moment. Sure, our bodies are fully in the moment at all times--that's what Yoga does for us--starts us off there--and by heightening our awareness of the one sure thing that is ALWAYS in the present--maybe we can get that mind of ours up to speed--or like for myself and many others I'm sure, slow it down to tempo.
So, here I was---on a beautiful morning drive through the desert to my Yoga class....and I think I had one of the most powerful Yoga moments of my life before even walking through the door of my Yoga studio. Before even rolling out my mat...or twisting my body into a delicious pose.
Huh.
Pretty cool!
Peace & Love.
6 comments:
I think we might share the same mind. This is my last day of vacation after two weeks off, as well, and I have totally gotten used to a more relaxed pace of life. But, as early as yesterday, my mean mind started in on me with a list of things I have to do once I get back to the office. It's really been tough today, but so far I think I'm winning. Good for you for realizing what was happening and for choosing instead to enjoy the day, no matter what your mind thinks about it!
Here's a why for you --- why would you want to do school work, clean the house, do laundry and take care of all the mundane, every day things of life when you are on VACATION!?!?! :) Seriously, time off for good behaviour and all that...and if the house stays untidy and the only thing you launder is clean underwear, is that so bad?!?! No, it is not.
Be at peace with all of that .. ♥
:-(
Do you know about these yoga books?
http://www.yogavidya.com/freepdfs.html
YAY!!! in the moment is so essential, and I'm definitely a long way from that. but yoga has helped. especially when I'm stuck in traffic... when I have no control over how I spend my time (i.e. being in a yoga class for 60 min) then I have no choice but to sit and be in the moment for that period of time. :)
WOOT for car yoga :)
I had almost exactly the same kind of Sunday morning (except for the yoga class) and my house looks almost exactly like yours (except with the extra messes 3 kids tend to add to the piles).
Instead of doing yoga, I spent a couple of hours in a bookstore, and then went home and read while the girls watched a movie. I was so inspired with new ideas that my mind didn't have any space to stress out about today's icky-ness.
Oh yes... the Monday blues on a Sunday as I call them. It happens to me every week, but in rare heightened form after a break like the holidays. Good for you in turning around that mindset!
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