I Promise Myself Revisited

Photo by the awesome Hansel, of course!

So, I've been thinking.

This weekend I posted the poem I Promise Myself here on Dirty Footprints Studio. I try to post it every month...ANNNND....you can find it on my "about" page as well.

I kind of have a thing for this poem. I like it. It speaks to me. Gets me all jazzed and ready to face the world...like how the Eye of the Tiger by Survivor is for some people!

These kids rock!

And usually, when I post it, I get the same nice response. People being inspired--people claiming that they're gonna run on out and spread it all over the place--print t-shirts, make billboards, tattoo their biceps with it.

Well, sort of that response.

And then, this weekend Miss Emma, the Creative Juicy over at Treehouse Jukebox, decided to challenge the whole poem--and share her twist on it all.

Awww...refreshing.

What sparked was a discussion on what does it all really mean? Is it actually realistic to be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear? Shouldn't we acknowledge--even embrace the darker side of our selves? Is this poem all fluff--and totally disregarding the whole being of who we truly are?

This weekend I let my mind get all wrapped up in analyzing this poem..in over thinking it even. I started to try to get to the core of what it really is that attracts me to this poem--enough to keep repeating it, to live with it, to read it often as if it was a prayer or a pledge of allegiance to myself.

And then, it occurred to me.

Stop thinking about it. Stop trying to dig deeper and excavate reason. What attracted you to this poem--was a feeling. A feeling that it provoked in me--to believe. To believe in the best of who I am...always--whatever circumstance, emotion, or event was to arise.

I think our feelings are a land mine of gold and precious gems.

They hold the answers to so many of our minds silly, silly questions--but we seem to lose the ability to interpret them as we grow older. As our minds develop--we believe that it should hold precedence over the rest of us.

For so long now, my heart--my soul--my deepest feelings have been telling me to make a change and start a career that is based fully on working for myself by fully expressing my Creative Juicy-ness.

I could feel this in my bones.

Stroll through the archives here on DFS and you'll see for yourself as well. This is something I've been living with for quite awhile.

But it's my mind that's been conducting business all this time. My mind has been instructing my decisions based on hard cold facts--like my checkbook, the bills that show up each month, and it certainly takes lots of notes when it hears about the "bad economy".

Though, all I have to say is thank you mind....but no thanks. Where the hell have you gotten me so far? And, the conductor you might be---I'm the stinking train--and my feelings are the coal that really run this babey. So back off--you're fired.

My heart, my soul, these crazy feelings I have buried deep within--they're taking over--they've been promoted...and now I believe the real journey has begun...and that is what I promise myself.

7 comments:

Emma said...

I'm so glad we could discuss this more. :)

We all bring different perspectives, backgrounds, and ideas to the table. Who cares if we always agree or not? To me, the much more important thing is openness to discussion and consideration of new and old ideas.

And it's wonderful that you are jumping full-speed-ahead onto this wild adventure! I can't wait to see what comes next.

Linnea said...

LOL, Connie, I have to laugh and hug you at the same time. Just this weekend David and I were talking about the strange alchemy that made this weekend such a happy one. I went into my usual esoteric speculation about energies and activities and ... suddenly I stopped myself and said, "Or, I could just quit analyzing the 'why' of it to death."

It will be an ongoing challenge, but I'm ready to meet it. Sometimes the fact that something is is good enough.

Indie Grrrl said...

I find there is sometimes a struggle with trusting the feeling( the emotion) and the brain wanting everything to be logical. The brain needs to understand, "just because"!!!! xoxo

leel said...

i like to think of our brain kinda like Tolle does, an over-enlarged organ that has evolved into the predominating force in our lives. in other words: i agree. Brain: shut up!

you always manage to put into words what i can't; turn it around to a positive when I can't seem to see it. It so keeps me coming back. I really liked this post. I liked that you aknowledged the darkness, so it could then be dismissed. so refreshing!

xo leel :)

Christine Claire Reed said...

Brain Bad. Body Good.

Always go with those guts! ;)

sweetmango said...

darker sides only exist if we give them life by thinking them or believing in them.
you are bright
you are light
i understand you
i get you
be you
i love you
xxmichelle (aka big sis)

Lisa said...

Oh how I've been there! One small thought, particularly one with logical validity, implanted in even a helpful way grows into an entire forest in which we get lost.

I think so much of the practice, JUST as you are doing, is moving forward without totally losing the mind.

March on, brave one.