I was lying on the living room floor..
Trying to think of what to write for Belly LOVE....
So I picked up the camera and just started shooting.
I LOVE the floor.
Ever since I was a kiddo, I LOVE the floor.
I LOVE to sprawl out and lay there staring at the ceiling whenever I can.
I remember my pre-teen years--sleep overs and all of us girls on the floor giggling and writing our names with flashlights on the ceiling. I can remember the floor of Becky's basement--it was that speckled linoleum and a disgusting pea green color. And we would all lay there in a circle looking up and someone would take a picture.
I remember being in my early twenties after midterms or finals and laying on the floor with my room mate listening to The Verve and drinking cheap red wine out of plastic cups. We could talk for hours--transform dreams into plans and somehow find our way back to conversations on nothing again. And somewhere in all my box of junk are photos of us drunk on the floor, I'm sure.
I remember my first Love. We used to lay on the floor of his apartment alot and twirl our fingers in each other's long hair and feel that words were not necessary...just laying there in each other's arms said enough.
Then there's my Mom's house. The home I grew up in. The home I used to lay on the floor and watch Saturday morning cartoons on. The home that since I left has been completely remodeled and made to suit my Mom's distinct taste. When I go there, I never recognize it anymore....and honestly all I want to do is lay on the floor and find that one thing that still feels like home.
But I don't know if it was the lying on the floor--or the angle of my photos--but something opened inside me last night and I realized deeply that through all these years of experience, my Belly has been there. My Belly--my whole body--has carried me through this journey of my Creative Juicy Life so far. My Belly remembers those deep giggles when I was 11, the drips of red wine in my twenties, the softness of a lover's hand across my Belly....the longing to find my way back home.
My Belly is a soft scrapbook of Life, LOVE, happiness, hunger, pain, and secrets I still hide. My Belly.....I finally accepted....is one of the most beautiful, gorgeous things alive.
And as I laid there on the floor last night, staring at my photos, I fell deeply, deeply in LOVE with it.
I think for the very first time.
8 comments:
I think we all overlook the joy of our belly. The only time we pay attention to it, is when it gurgles and says feed me. Sad isn't? I remember watching tv on my belly, or creating art. I now use my belly to play with Lil Love or to create art with her. Keep the belly love coming! We all need to love the most overlooked part of ourselves.
Love & Hugs, Poe
Coming to love pieces of ourselves on bit at a time...our No.1 job on this Earth I think. So glad you found some true Belly Love, Beautiful One !
What a lovely post . . . I loved your trip down memory lane.
Truly finding love deep within (memories and yourself). I love that belly so much...and am simmering in memory stew a bit myself these days. Thanks for sharing yours....
wow ... i love the journey you take us on here ... and the beautiful truth that your arrived at ...
i remember lying on the green shag carpeting in my uncle's house ... we would visit them every summer and i lived for that visit ... but i remember this one time lying there and thinking "in a year from now, I will be back on this floor and i will still be me." it sounds trite here, but it was a powerful realization to connect the me of now with a me of the future and recognize there is an unchanging me within and she will endure. (the year between visits always being tough.)
not sure where my belly was in all of that :)
xo Lis
I don't exactly have something to say. This post made me smile, made me a bit wistful and melancholy and nostalgic, and I guess I wanted to say thank you. :) There, I did have something to say after all!
Connie, your need to stop FREAKIN' me out!! LOL!! YESTERDAY my little one was watching Marley & Me while I was running around the house. I wasn't really paying attention until this song came on and I stopped. I was like - Oh I used to love this and wrote the name down on my to do list so I'd remember to treat myself by listening to them later - what was the band's name you ask? THE VERVE! I mean really? LOL
It's funny whenever I write about memory it's always a smell or an object that brings the character back. It's easy to forget that our body is filled with memory. It hold things - good like memory and bad like stress - within for us. I love the way you fell in love with your belly just as I love ALL the memories it holds for you. It even brings you home when you feel like you can't fully get there...now that's true beauty.
I'm a floor girl too. I would much rather sleep on the floor than in a bed. I have to admit, not much love for my belly though. You've inspired me to change that. <3
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