This morning Hansel and I started our day with Yoga in the living room before he had to leave for work. A zen like station on pandora.com and a soft, smooth, flowing practice that lasted for almost an hour.
This is what I want again--Yoga as a way of life--and an important facet of the loving relationship between Hansel and me.
Though, today I feel off. A little grouchy to put it kindly and I'm quick to notice how fast I react when things don't go my way---when someone cut me off on the highway---when Hansel said something that rubbed me the wrong way....I quickly tensed up and took on a pissed off persona that I like to believe is really not me.
After I let those nasty negative fires of anger and frustration burn for awhile...then I realized that this is me.
I don't know what makes today's temperament different from my peaceful state I was dwelling in just yesterday--but this is me---all of this is me--the cold and cruel embodies the same space where warmth, compassion, and kindness breathe.
Silly, I know. But for the first time I feel like I really faced myself. And now I wonder what other "flaws" am I hiding--or just denying as me--because they seem unfit--not perfect to how I think I really am.
If this journey is going to mean anything, I better start facing who I really am in ever single way.
I'm ready to discover the whole truth. And I mean nothing but the truth.
3 comments:
Brave Connie, and so hard to do. It is a never ending process.
i know what you mean. i am currently doing around 5 different workshops on self, yes i know a lot, but i am discovering so much about me, and it is worth it. but my biggest epihany of all was when i was clock watching the other day, saying ohhhh i have to get these all finished, i have so much i want to do blah blah blah and this voice very calmly said....Michelle you will spend the rest of your life discovering who you are, this part of your journey will never end, there is no rush.
and i got it, i mean i REALLY got it.
i love you.
xxm
(hugs for hansel too, he is after all a mango lover LOLOL)
Um- that photograph would make the most PERFECT intuitive painting...
and by perfect, I mean "warts and all" as the saying goes.
I love that embracing the self means ALL of the self, not just the "good" parts. Kudos to you for recognizing all aspects and for sharing with us that you DON'T have to be perfect. When I remember that, it is like a huge sigh of relief. Now- if I could just remember that on a daily basis!
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