Choosing This Life

INTO THE DEEP UNKNOWN

Morning Drawing, Oil Pastel On Paper

So ever since my first morning on my retreat, I have been creating intuitive oil pastel drawings first thing in the morning. I used to get up and do Yoga right away. But I realize now that that is what I thought I should do to begin my day in a spiritual manner. But lately, my morning practice hasn't seemed right...my body doesn't feel open for it yet....I prefer Yoga in the evening again--like I did when I was in my early twenties. So I decided awhile ago to honor that. But--something's been missing without a usual morning ritual. And then...it came to me...out of nowhere.

Draw. Paint. Stretch my Creative Juicy muscles instead.

And this works. Like some people wake up and do morning pages--the kind championed by Julia Cameron of the book The Artist Way---I like to think of these as Morning Drawings. And it feels right. And it purges things out of me and puts it there on the paper so I can go about my day.

GROW DEEPER

Morning Drawing, Oil Pastel On Paper

So, I need to tell you something.

When I was at the Wild Heart Painting Retreat, I had an awakening. A vision you could say. I had an understanding so deep--that it kept me up all night Saturday with this spinning over my heart chakra that literally felt like a wheel spinning. That's when I knew that things had made a major shift...and either I could ignore it, stay put in my comfortable life and routine, or follow the voice of the Queen I was hearing--and begin a new journey into the deep unknown.

I have chosen to begin a new journey. I have chosen to dive, head first, into the sea of the great, deep, unknown. I have chosen to live my life in complete alignment of heart, soul, and action. I have chosen to claim my energy and time to be fully my own to decide what and how I use it. I have chosen to go about something, I have no idea how to do. I have chosen to finally walk the life I was meant to live. I have chosen what I will do next, and that is the most powerful thing any of us can do.

So what is it, you wonder?

Well, I came home and told Hansel that I no longer can wait to open my painting retreat place in Costa Rica. I have to open it here. Now. Where we live. Arizona. I have to open it because basically the Queen told me.

I know...I sound crazy.

But it's not.

I can't keep working the job I have now as well. It sucks too much of my time and energy in a fashion that does not support what my heart and soul desire. So, I went into work last week, emailed my supervisor and principal, and informed them that I wanted to work part time next year.

I was honest with them. I told them that I needed more time to work on my own dream--my own business--I told them that I needed to open a painting place here--and that I couldn't pull it off if I was still working full time---and I told them that I really had no idea how I was going to do this at all--but I was open now to listening to the direction, the guidance that is leading me.

My supervisor, in a motherly way, tried to change my mind. She tried to scare me by telling me how hard it will be with half my salary and yada yada yada.

But I finally just looked at her and told her that if I didn't do this--that if I didn't take the risk--I would never grow.

And, when I said this, I surprised myself even. The whole tone changed....and it was like all of us knew right then....I was no longer in charge...the Queen, the Goddess is working through me here. She's calling the shots. And she needs me to work there THIS YEAR part time--so I can have a bridge to this next chapter of my Creative Juicy Life....but she has bigger plans for me.

TENSION

Morning Drawing, Oil Pastel On Paper

So that's the deal. All the logistical stuff is almost final...I'll be working part time in a different school next year...and today was the last day of a rotation of classes...and I told those kiddos I wouldn't be seeing them next year. That to me, made all of this more final. Their hugs, their tears, their begging and pleading--their innocent worry pulled at my heart strings. But I know this is only the beginning. The beginning of quite a few obstacles that will be presented in my way.

And in just this past week, I learned so completely, that the biggest obstacle I face is myself. There is a tension between what I think I should do--and what I am guided to do by a force so much bigger and stronger then me.

And I'm choosing to lead my life by following this voice that is guiding me. I am choosing and choosing and choosing.

Coolio!

I want to share a few things that I think are totally COOLIO with the bloggy world this week!

First....where are my gosh-darn manners? On Monday I was the first of many to come Kind Kindred's over at the AMAZING-WONDERFUL-OH-SO-FREAKING-FABULOUS blog Kind Over Matter...and I didn't give ol' props to the Lovelies that invited me. I am so sorry. So very sorry...let's just say my mind has been a bit in the sky lately!! But....please go over and check out my post on kindness HERE and then stay for awhile soaking in all the precious LOVE!!!

Thank you for this sweet honor Jenn & Amanda--big hugs and smoothies to you two!!!

Next...today I received one of the sweetest emails from my dear friend Darrah over at the blog Artcetera...she sent me this photo she shot last May when she actually started her blog--and this beautiful journey she is currently on. We've agreed to be a part of each other's "Dangerous Women Tribe" and support each other true and true!! We all need those special Lovelies that get us--that support us--that LOVE us no matter how silly, crazy, whacked out you might feel about yourself. The beauty about this....is that I met Darrah by reaching out to her--a blogger I related to....I've met many of my dearest friends I have now...by reaching out to a stranger over the internet. I share this little tidbit of COOLIOness to encourage you to lasso your own Dangerous Women Tribe!! It doesn't have to be formal or even have a silly name. It could be just knowing you connect with someone--and they're there for you as well.

Thank you Darrah for sharing your fabulouso-ness with me. Big hugs Mama!!!

Speaking of finding your tribe...how about recruiting your cheerleaders!! I already adore Miss Carmen Torbus--the mixed media Artist over HERE...but after seeing this video she made for the Spring co-host contest...I think I truly am in LOVE! Not only is her sincerity for wanting to inspire others to be the best they can be quite charming...it is so interesting to find how complex and layered she is as an individual...her life has gone from cheerleader, to soldier, to wifey-poo, to mama, to Artist, to author--and soon she'll be hosting her very cool in-person workshop HERE. You go girl--ra! ra! ra!!



Talking workshops...these two Creative Juicy Lovelies: Amanda from the blog Persistent Green and Natasha from Creative Nachos are teaming up to supply you with a Creative Playground to let your inner wild child get their Creative Juicy-ness on!!! This workshop sounds like lots of fun..and we could all use a little more fun and play in our lives!! Check it out HERE!!

Last...only a few more days left to get the Early LOVE Bird discount on Art Journal LOVE Letters!!! You can never take too many workshops--seriously--there is so much Creative Juicy Artsy Fartsy LOVE out there on the internet--nobody should be sitting around whining!!! So, be sure to get in with the LOVE by going HERE!
If you have some total COOLIOness you'd like to share--leave it in the comments!!! I'd LOVE to hear!
Big hugs!

Starting to Find My Words

Ok. I think I'm ready to talk now.

It's been over a week since I was at the Wild Heart Painting Retreat, and I finally think I am able to begin to put into words what happened...what I experienced...AND how I became awakened and enlightened all in one big wave.

I think. I think I'm ready.

The thing is...I didn't expect this. I didn't expect ANY of this.

I thought for the most part I would go to this retreat and get my paint on. I had intentions to paint BIG and that's about it.

Well, maybe I didn't have expectations...but I knew.

I knew that this would be a weekend of more then getting my paint-on. More then painting big.

But I didn't expect this. I didn't expect that I would have such a deeper understanding of myself that I would have to come back home and rearrange everything--to better fit this new Creative Juicy Life I have decided to finally possess completely.


You see, I learned a few things.

I learned that number one--I am always guided. Seriously. Always guided.

And this guidance is so simple--so easy--so present--and so damn loud--that I don't know how I've missed it before.

This guidance is the exact thing I've been looking for for years when it comes to my Art and my painting. For some reason--this guidance--this voice I heard became fully alive when I was at the Creative Juices Arts studio--that at times it became overwhelming, even frustrating, and sometimes frightening. This guidance...this voice...this Queen...this Goddess guided me to paint..and through painting....everything began to unravel and reveal itself to me.



For one thing, I learned that I am by heart, by soul, by life--a painter. This is the one and true constant that has been with me since my youth. This is the one and true thing I know about myself. For as long as I live, I know painting will always be a big part of who I am--and why I was placed upon this planet at this time. And when I say painting, I mean the sacred act of picking up a brush and letting the color, line, pattern, images, and story become an honest expression of who I am at that moment.

And as I spent the weekend painting in silence, I examined how I felt about painting--instead of examining my painting itself. And this made the world of difference. This was groundbreaking. This is how I began to awaken.

I learned that enough is enough. I have purpose here on this planet. That what I do has purpose. Even if the monetary "value" says differently.

I learned that I believe...yes, deep down, with all my heart, believe in Art--especially painting. I believe in it as a bridge to the spirit world--to that juicy part of my existence that I struggle finding connection with sometimes.

I learned that I madly, passionately LOVE the part of me that longs to paint and draw and create wildly that I am willing to take a huge risk to see HER live her dreams completely. I am done with pushing HER in the corner and waiting for the right moment, time, or place for HER to spread HER wings. I am ready to let HER go crazy--and to paint--live--and breathe each breath into HER truest self COMPLETELY.

On my last day of the retreat, all of us dangerously, wild heart women sat together and talked about our experience so far. I broke into tears and said that I felt fucked! Because now I had to go home and rearrange everything to fit this new Creative Juicy Life I have discovered.

I wasn't kidding. I wasn't joking.

And all last week...that's what I did.

And now...well.....more tomorrow...enough said.

The LOVE is Back!

So no more waiting....Art Journal LOVE Letters is back for good and better then ever!

Art Journal LOVE Letters will officially open this Sunday, April 4th at 11:00 AM EST. Unlike last time, all of the LOVE Letters will be posted for you to work at your own pace and schedule. My intention for this workshop is to be self-guided with the comfort of me being there every step of the way to answer your questions, support your journey, and celebrate your own Art Journal LOVE!

Art Journal LOVE Letters is more then an online workshop...it is an online LOVE affair..and now, better then ever with additional videos and a shinier, new look! This inspiring, nurturing workshop is structured into four chapters to create an experience for you to fall deeper in LOVE with Art Journaling and your Creative Juicy Life. Consider me the Cupid of Creativity as I guide you through your Art Journal LOVE affair using inspiring prompts, ideas, fun techniques, and LOVE struck musings on the beauty of Art Journaling and truly living a Creative Juicy Life.

Through numerous instructional videos and supporting posts you will learn techniques to build a foundation in your Art Journal, pockets to hide your Art Journal LOVE in, ways to tap into your intuition when finding your images and symbols, and last, inventive ways to incorporate text.

You will also receive:

• Quality Art instruction by Connie Hozvicka who has a BA in both painting and Art History, a licensure in Art Education, and over 15 years of experience teaching individuals of all ages, abilities, skill levels, and backgrounds. All questions, comments, and uploads of Art work will be addressed in a loving, professional, timely manner daily.
• A safe, nurturing, fun online environment where you will be inspired to experiment with your creativity and discover a deeper LOVE for Art Journaling and your Creative Juicy Life.
• A warm community of kindred souls drawn together by the Art Journal LOVE. You can gain a sense of this community already by visiting the Art Journal LOVE Letters Flickr group HERE.
• All the time in the world!! Art Journal LOVE Letters has found it's permanent home at Ning, and you can take as long or as little time as you like to follow the journey.

I am so excited about bringing the LOVE back that this week Dirty Footprints Studio is offering an Early LOVE Bird 10% discount of $32.40 until 11:00 PM EST, Friday, April 2, 2010. After then, Art Journal LOVE Letters registration will go for $36. Dirty Footprints Studio believes in making quality Art workshops affordable to insure more souls will feel comfortable in financially committing themselves to nurturing their Creativity and enhancing their Creative Juicy Life.

I hope you will honor yourself and join in the LOVE by registering below and going HERE for more information.

All sales are final.

Go HERE for further information and please share the LOVE!

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That's What Friends Are For!

One of the great pleasures of last week's trip to Oakland, California was meeting my friend Jennifer Lee of the blog Life Unfolds. Even though the photo above is a little on the cheesey side...I still LOVE how cute Jenn looks--and I like how our bangs look like they're kissing!!

Hee hee!

But here's the truth.

I have known Jenn personally for almost two years now. She is an amazing, strong, independent powerhouse of a woman. She has an incredible business, is always moving and shaking things up in San Fran, is extremely talented, smart, and compassionate and has been a busy bumblebee lately working on writing her book that will be published soon. She knows what she wants and goes and gets it.

I LOVE that about her.

But the truth is......when I was waiting for her to pick me up and take us out for a bite to eat....I told Chris Zydel that I was a bit nervous to meet Jenn in person. I was a bit anxious---because---well, this is Jennifer Lee---a powerhouse of a chica!

Chris, in her sweetest of ways, whispered to me that I was a powerhouse too.

But that still didn't ease my nerves. It wasn't until she walked in the door and we gave each other a big hug, that I realized that this person is just Jennifer--the girl that I LOVE and adore, who has taught me many things, has challenged and support me for quite awhile, and makes me laugh hysterically!

Though, all week I've been sitting with this. Why was I so nervous to meet my friend?

Then it occurred to me....that it wasn't Jennifer that I was anxious about...I knew she'd be the sweetie I know and LOVE....

I think deep down, it's that notion of a powerhouse--a strong, independent, go-getter of a force INSIDE MY OWN SELF that gets me nervous and a bit scared.

The people in our lives are here to teach us facets and inklings about our self...Right?!?! And the idea that made me feel intimidated by my own friend Jenn, is the exact thing that intimidates me about myself.

Now that I realize this.....well, that's a whole other post....coming soon.

For now, thank you Jenn. Thank you for being your amazing self. And thank you for being an oracle that made me realize my deepest potential sits in the lap of the things that I fear the most.

Roller Blade Revelation

I purposely tried to make this photo of my roller blades a bit dramatic!!

That's how I feel about them.

I have so much LOVE for them right now that they deserve their own blog post. Heck, they deserve their own blog!! They deserve to be rulers of the Universe!!

(Are you catching the drama?!?!)

But...today, the sun was shining...the weather was absolutely perfect...and, out of nowhere I decided to dig out my ol' roller blades and strap them on. It has been years--YEARS since I last skated....and.....well, why have I been so absent from the bliss they bring?

I'll tell you why.

Fear.

Yep. One big fat syllable of a word that can block years of fun, fitness, and that feeling of the wind through your hair!!!

See, years ago--YEARS ago, I was a Bladin' Chica-InLine-Mama-Lightening-Feet-Girlie until I had a MASSIVE accident on the blades. I was living in Cleveland, skating by myself in the metro-parks, when a rock or something got caught in my wheels, that made me lose my balance and fall and trample down a HUGE hill. I tore up my arms, legs, ass, and my face. I was a bloody, bloody mess and had no cell phone with me and had to skate miles back to my car in stingy pain, with gravel embedded into my wounds and a long trail of blood behind each stride. Oh, and let me add that I tore the whole butt out of my pants and had to skate full moon the entire way! Talk about humiliating! Not to mention that I had to skate past a huge soccer game going on with what seemed a super-bowl crowd of hotties!

Yeah.

The entire experience and the physical harm it did to my body scared me from tying up my blades again.

Until today.

The funny thing is, I put them on and made my way to the sidewalk and down the street until I even remembered my historical accident. By that time, I was already enjoying the fun I was having. But I felt it. I felt that fear vibe start to run after me--like a frantic idiot chasing a train screaming---"Connie!! Connie!!! Come back!! Come back!! Remember you almost killed yourself before!!!! It's gonna happen again!!! Go home! Go hoooooommmme!!!"

I heard the fear. I saw it flash in front of me with every twig, rock, and goose shit I weaved my skates around........

And you know what I did?

I kept on skating like a Bladin'-Chica-InLine-Mama-Lightening-Feet-Girlie and I decided at that exact moment to REFUSE TO LET MY PAST DEFINE MY PRESENT ANYMORE!

The End.

Art LOVE

I had a great conversation with a friend of mine on the phone Friday night. We talked about passion, and simply put....LOVE.

I LOVE Art. Simply, truly, and I can say this...forever....LOVE Art.

I LOVE making it, reading about it, looking at it, living with it, talking about it, and thinking about it. I LOVE Art.


And...I especially LOVE sharing it...and meeting and experiencing the beauty of other Artists.

These amazing paintings have been created by the Artist Dani Dodge. I found her through Twitter HERE...and she has a gorgeous website of her work HERE.

This is a little excerpt from her Artist statement HERE:

Her work explores the beautiful in the tragic, the remarkable in the mundane, the feeling within the form.

She seeks to see beyond objects and objectivity. To find the elusive truth of the human soul by painting outside the lines.

Ms. Dani Dodge...I absolutely adore your paintings...you certainly have my Art LOVE!

She Is Growing...

...just like me!

So Much to Say

She's not finished yet. I know, because she told me so.

That's the crazy thing....I started talking to MY paintings, and learned that they actually talk back. My paintings are very demanding. The second I clean up my brushes and put my palette away, they want more. They need a little green added here or a touch of pink there....or now they want fish!

Very high maintenance paintings. Very diva-esque!!

But...the crazy thing is not that I speak to my paintings...but that I've been ignoring them all this time.

You see, I think I've revealed this before here on Dirty Footprints Studio....I talk to paintings...I really do....and, they talk back.

Yep, I said it.

Paintings talk back to me.

For example, if I take a stroll through the Art Museum I will stop in front of a Marc Chagall and in my mind ask him something about the painting...and I'll hear a response back...in my mind.

I have been engaged in talking to paintings forever---since I was a little kiddo!! And years ago, when I worked in an Art Museum many lunch hours were spent deep in conversation with the Masters!! I think that's why my classes were so popular back then....I talked about the paintings and the Artists as if I had a real relationship with them.

Which I do.

But all this time, years and years of painting, I never once thought to talk to my own painting. I never once stopped and asked them what their needs, desires, and wishes were. I never stilled my mind enough to hear what they were saying--how they were feeling--and what they wanted to teach me.

Those days are over....and now, I feel like they have so much to tell me to make up for lost time.

And I'm here. I'm present. My ears, eyes, and Creative Juicy heart are wide, wide open.

Following Truth and LOVE

First, I have to say how blessed I am for a group of Lovely women that I am a part of...we call ourselves the Nurture Huddle...and my life is simply a masterpiece because of these fabulous, independent, strong, and courageous women that I can call my tribe. Tonight, as I laid on a park bench under the moon, struggling to explain all this transformation and new information about myself....they listened...no, it's more like they heard me--through all the chitter and chatter and especially--they could hear me--the real me, beneath my words--including those that were simply attached to fear.

I am so grateful for your LOVE my friends...so appreciative for you pushing me to live from my truth.

Because of their LOVE and support, tonight I made a HUGE step towards listening to my heart..and following my dream.

A HUGE, HUGE step.

And now there really is no going back. My Creative Juicy Life will no longer be the same.

When I hung up the phone and made my way back to my studio...I pulled out my oil pastels and let the Queen--the Goddess take over again...and above is the product of another dance together.

Then, when I finished with that...I poured myself a cup of Yogi tea...and the tag attached to the bag read as so:

The purpose of life is to enjoy every moment.

And I realized truly how blessed I am...for I am surrounded, swimming, soaking in nothing but glorious, radiant, powerful LOVE. It seems to follow me where ever I go...

Or is it the other way around?

The Queen...The Goddess

Here I am on the last day of the Wild Heart Painting Retreat. Here I am with all of my paintings hanging. I did a total of five. But that doesn't matter. What matters is what happened to me...my heart....my soul....my Creative Juicy Life as I painted these paintings. I began to hear a voice....a strong, demanding, voice...a voice that directed my brush strokes, my color choices, and even how large or small the paper was to be. A voice that instructed me when to paint and when not to. A voice that scared the hell out of me.

Some call it intuition.

I call it the Queen...the Goddess....

And now her every wish is my command.

(photo taken by the glittery Chris Zydel)

2 Little LOVELIES!

Oh I had to share this!! The darling LOVELY above is Miss Maddie--the Creative Juicy, Artist-in-Residence that lives over at Heather Plett's abode!!! She just recently had a birthday and Mom snatched the Little LOVELY Maddie that was for sale HERE.....what a beautiful coincidence that these two LOVELIES look so much alike! I think you two make a great pair.

Happy belated birthday girlie!!!

Pregnant...with the Creative Juicy Life

Saturday night (as part of the Wild Heart Painting Retreat), before I finally let myself fall asleep--I picked up my oil pastels and drew this image. After laying in bed tossing and turning for awhile, this voice in my head (I'll tell you more about her later) demanded I get back up and write the word "Awake" on it.

I am no longer in charge. Let me just say that.

Well, I've realized now that I never have been--but I'm embracing it fully with all my soul--instead of fighting it...ignoring it...pretending not to hear.

After writing "Awake" I also let the voice in my head take hold of my pen and journal and I began to write. I shared this with the other amazing, Creative Juicy ladies at the retreat Sunday morning....and I would like to share it with you as well.

The Goddess. The Muse.
Her Highness. The Queen.

She led me here.

She made all of this possible.

She made the timing perfect.

She fit all of the pieces together to insure this experience would manifest.

She brought me here not to remind me-

but rather to awaken me.

She is finished tapping lightly on my shoulder-

She's done with all the "excuse me", "pardon me", "please".

She's tired of waiting-

so She worked her magical powers

so I could arrive.

Finally I would grab hold of the gift She has granted me.

And then She pushed me-

just so I would learn to let go.

Created With LOVE

Do you know Melita of the blog Gussying Up the Tuttle?

She is one very cool, Creative Juicy chica!! Not only does she write a very Zenful blog--she also is a wise Yogini, massage therapist, and all around creative!

Just recently she finished her schooling and is well on her way to building her business of wellness and helping others. To celebrate this new chapter of her Creative Juicy Life, Melita hired me to create a Little LOVELY of herself!!

This was super fun....and act full of LOVE, LOVE, LOVE! I am very happy to share this with you...

Thank you Melita for this wonderful honor. Big, big hugs!!

To see some of my other Little LOVELIES go HERE.

If you are interested in having your own Little LOVELY or one for a dear loved one---let's talk!! Contact me HERE and let's get the LOVE rolling!!

She Is With Me Always

I got home a little late last evening. After talking with Hansel for awhile, and showing him the paintings from my Painting from the Wild Heart retreat this weekend, I went to bed.

I woke up early this morning, on purpose. Not so I could do Yoga--or insure to be on time for work--but so I could sit in my studio--and draw.. Above is what I did.

In just this simple, complex, beautiful, healing weekend, I have changed. My life has changed. Dirty Footprints Studio has changed. My heart has completely changed.

So I need to sit with all this for awhile, before I begin to share with you. I need to process and understand what all this means...or at least begin to learn to navigate this new territory in my life.

I'm not ready to talk about it Lovelies. I'm not ready to leave this space yet--that has formed in my heart and completely around my being--like a cocoon of pure, radiating light. And--if my heart has anything to do with it, and now which I know completely that it has everything to do with it---I will never leave it...but allow this space to expand and grow and encompass all the parts of my life I still have waiting to discover.

So please excuse me if I'm quiet for awhile. Please excuse me if I don't make sense, or if things are so beautifully exploding with color...because there has been some changes here. Some big, big, big changes.

I Promise Myself

I PROMISE MYSELF

To be so strong that nothing can disturb my peace of mind.

To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person I meet.

To make all my friends feel that there is something worth while in them.

To look at the sunny side of everything and make my optimism come true.

To think only of the best, to work only for the best

and to expect only the best.

To be just as enthusiastic about the success of

others as I am about my own.

To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the

greater achievements of the future.

To wear a cheerful expression at all times and give a smile

to every living creature I meet.

To give so much time to improving myself that I

have no time to criticize others.

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear,

and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

To think well of myself and to proclaim this fact to the world,

not in loud word, but in great deeds.

To live in the faith that the whole world is on my side,

so long as I am true to the best that is in me.

--Christian D. Larson

Authentic

I keep having these grand moments where I am learning something new about myself . Or more like incredible moments where I fully realize--accept--completely embrace these aspects..little facets of my being that I've been either neglecting or ignoring altogether. They're little sparkles usually--not big huge whoppers. But they're adding up, like pennies in an empty peanut-butter jar. They're transforming me-- not into a better me--but a more honest, truthful, authentic me. When I say honest and truthful--I don't mean in the manner of speaking--but in the manner of truly being.

I think alot of us, myself included, tend to think back to our childhood, and feel that our truth--our "authentic" self was so present and alive when we were young. Somehow, through the years, we've lost touch--life created layers of stuff for us to wade through--we became disconnected, disheartened, disinterested, or disgusted with ourselves for the choices we made. So we look back to when we were young and pick and choose the aspects of our kiddo self that would best make up our authentic self now.

I am not that Connie I was when I was five, ten, fifteen, twenty-five, thirty. Sure, there are things I have in common with that little girl...such as painting, loving nature, procrastination, and determination...but my authentic self is not found in memories and trapped in the crevices of yesterday.

My authentic self is always evolving, and that is why I am always surprised and delighted to learn something new.

Today I will sit on a plane headed for San Francisco. Tonight I will begin to paint my Wild Heart out at Chris Zydel's Creative Juices Arts Studio. Walking into this experience is a part of expressing my truth. This is an intention I had for the new year. This experience is a little chisel in sculpting the authentic self of who I am today...and preparing me for the truth of who I will be tomorrow.

Sedona, How I LOVE Thee!

Sedona Study: Cathedral Rock. Oil pastel on paper. 5 inches x 5 inches.

This past week Hansel and I have been on vacation. We had planned earlier to head to California for this week, but last minute changed our minds. So a "Staycation" it has been--and what a wonderful time at that!

Yesterday we went to our beloved Sedona, Arizona--which is only an hour and a half drive from our home (not close enough, I say!!). A trip to Sedona for us means hiking, Hansel shooting photographs, I putzin' with my oil pastels and shooting video, yummy vegetarian food, and of course one of the greatest sunsets on the planet!!

Sedona Study: Oak Creek Canyon. Oil pastel on paper. 5 inches x 5 inches.

But this week has been amazing. I think more amazing then any ol' trip to Cali could have ever been! We have spent our time enjoying the beautiful weather with Nyla, treating ourselves to eating out and making long, elaborate meals at home, and tons of creativity!!! Tons, tons, tons!! Every day I've been painting, drawing, or immersed in my Art Journal--while Hansel has been totally marinating in the goodness of his photography.

Sedona Study: Oak Creek. Oil pastel on paper. 5 inches x 5 inches.

But I learned something...again. Something that is always with me..deep, deep down in the depths of my Creative Juicy heart. Something I know for sure, but push aside so often--to work harder--in the pursuit that I think by doing so I will be fulfilling some kind of "purpose"--when, after a week like this, I realize--with all my being and beautiful soul...that my real "purpose" is simply to create. To pick up the paintbrush, to push the oil pastel around, to doodle in my sketchbook. This--and only this--has been the one constant and steady thread of bliss throughout my entire life.

Yesterday as I sat, with my ass aching on a rock, in the belly of Oak Creek Canyon I thought I could do this forever and never care if I sell a lick, or anyone champions my work, or if it ever goes anywhere other than the pocket in the back of my Moleskin journal.

When I was a little kiddo, we lived down the streets from a great park--with tons of trees, grass, and a babbling creek that ran through it. I used to sit for hours, like yesterday, painting and drawing. When I was a teenager, I actually used to cut school to do the same thing as well!! I have no idea what ever happened to those pieces, and I know at the time I never even cared. Art for me has rarely been about the final product--it is about seeing the world, taking it in, and expressing myself through color, line, and pattern--a language that has been a part of me since childhood. So why do I let myself become disconnected from this river of LOVE that flows continuously through me? Why do I allow my choices to dam up this precious energy?

No more. Nope. Noway. Uh uh.

I am a Blogger Too

Last week my friend Elena Rego wrote this beautiful post called I'm A Blogger. She also posted the gorgeous photograph from above as well. But ever since I read her post---I haven't been able to stop thinking about it.

So, I want to say that I'm a Blogger too!! And maybe you are as well, and want to join us by just stating it out loud!

But what does that mean? I have to believe that it's like painting, or Art Journaling or a recipe for a delicious curry--that everyone's definition of what it takes or means to be a blogger is quite different.

Truth is, I've been a blogger for quite a long time. Dirty Footprints Studio is going on almost two years, and before this I had a couple other blogs that lasted a year or so. Ok, so maybe it hasn't been a super long time, but in Connie Land--commitment to something that long is definitely quite a feat.

But what does it mean to me to be a Blogger? How does blogging show up in my own life?

Well, I noticed that since I've dived full heartedly into my blogging practice, that I don't write in my actual journal as much as I used to. I think that's a good thing actually. I found a new way--an exciting and fresh way to express myself through blogging that involves not only my words--but images. And the thing that's kind of neat as well, is that everytime I step out on a limb and make myself vulnerable with honesty, I get a tsunami of LOVE and support thrown right back at me...and emails from kindred souls expressing their gratitude.

Through blogging...I get connection. Sure--with wonderful souls that stop by to read my ramblings..but more importantly with myself. Being a blogger has forced me to be more honest with myself. To have deeper integrity to my word. To hold myself accountable even.

The thing too, as I grow deeper into my own blogging practice, I notice that I have begun to actually pull away from reading blogs like crazy as well. Don't get me wrong....I have my large handful of blogs that I am very loyal too, a small smudgin of blogs I check on occasion, and a couple acquaintances I bump into from time to time. And this works for me.

I'll be honest, if I lose myself in blog hopping, I start to compare myself to the things I see and read...start to wonder why aren't I to that level...or why am I not doing that. When, it's all a bunch of fru-fru-smoo-ga-bun to me. I know what my life is about. I know what makes me happy--what gets me to fall to pieces--and I'm learning again and again what it takes to keep a sweet balance.....and honestly, the things that go through my mind--that make me tick--that keep me walking forward into that oasis of LOVE waiting for me in Costa Rica--I can't find the answers anywhere but here in my own heart. My own words. My own struggles and my own Art ventures. If I get caught up in other Blogger's wonderful Creative Juicy lives too much I tend to get lost in my own.

So I am a Blogger, and this is my little space called Dirty Footprints Studio. I like to open it up and share it with you...and I don't try to follow a recipe or read up on how to lasso in followers. I am a Blogger, and for me that means I put my heart, art, and mind up on a screen. I am a Blogger, and that means I have deep friendships with Lovelies that I've never seen in person--but feel I know them all the same. I am a Blogger, and that means my dreams are not just something I whisper in prayers at night--they're something I throw to the Universe for the whole world to see.

And Another Intuitive Painting

Acrylic paint on paper.

30 inches x 22 inches

Sometimes there are so many things swimming around my mind.

An Art Journal LOVE Secret

Here's my secret....toilet paper and puffy paint!

Yesterday I shared with you my Art Journal LOVE from the weekend....and in this journal entry I have some cool raised texture happening-you can see it in the detail below.

Before I started slapping paint around, I drew that funky design with some silver, glittery puffy-like Liquigems paint by Liquitex. To be honest with you, I drew that design months ago and just was so unhappy with how it was going that I let it sit in my journal for all this time. Then, this weekend, hazy from a nasty head cold--I thought why not just paint over it!! And I'm glad I did!! I really LOVE the effect.

But what's up with the toilet paper? Since I had a nasty head cold, and ran out of tissues, I was walking around the apartment with my own personal toilet paper roll!! When I paint, I like to pull off wet paint in some areas and this time I used the toilet paper for a Dirty Footprints Studio first! What I found is that if you use the embossed side of the TP, you will get a really cool pattern in your paint from the TP! Cool stuff.

Who would of thunk?!?!

An Art Journal LOVE Confession

This weekend I was nursing a nasty head cold.....and I had to throw in a little Art Journal LOVE to help me heal and feel better!

I'm a huge, HUGE fan of the ArtJournaling.Ning.com site. There is so much Creative Juicy fun happening over there...and for this month, Leslie, the leader of this great network, is hosting an Art Journaling challenge. Each day she presents a new prompt to get you jumping into your Art Journal! Lots of people have been creating beautiful pages and sharing in conversation about it. Fun stuff!!

But I have a confession. I've been struggling with the challenge. We are already 15 days into March and I've only completed one of the prompts: Blue.

It's not that the prompts aren't interesting or anything....it's more or less about me....and how I usually stray from being told what to do. Yeah, even with something so simple as a one or two word prompt!

So, this weekend, when I sat down with my Art Journal between slices of sunshine, I decided to art journal about prompts...and basically my resistance to them. I'm really happy with how it turned out!

And that's the beautiful thing about Art Journaling. Everyone has their own approach, their own Art Journal LOVE relationship. You might eat up prompts like I eat guacamole! And it's all good!

(PS--Tomorrow I'll let you in on how I made that fun raised patterned texture in my journal page! See you then!!)