I Had To Let Go


For years my morning ritual consisted of yoga first thing when I got up.

For years. Seriously. Years.

Then blogging stepped in somewhere and I noticed I was beginning to trade in yoga poses for email, facebook updates, tweets, and getting my first dose of my blog roll in. It happened gradually--but it happened.

Then this past December, during my Soulful Hiatus, I decided I would break the habit.

I would do like my wise friend Jamie Ridler always says: "Begin as you wish to continue." and start a new ritual. One that would infuse my morning with intention, stillness, and deep connection to my spirituality. One that would begin the way I wish to continue my day--from a place of reverence, peace, and gratitude.

So, I started meditating for 20 minutes each morning. I'd sit cross legged on my meditation blanket and put 20 minutes on my timer on the phone. And well, since I had my phone there-in my hands already---and I was doing so good by starting my morning off with meditation--I allowed myself to simply check my emails on my phone. But only check. No replies--no indulging in them. Just check. Then I'd proceed into meditation.

And the truth is...I started to feel a difference.

I did.

My days were a bit more calmer--I was a bit more stiller. Things were good. But not right.

So I upped my meditation time to 25 minutes, then eventually a half hour.

Still, pretty good. But something still not right.

Finally I was honest with myself. I realized that if I really wanted to be connected to my spirit--my creative source--my truth, then I needed to let go.

Let go of the rat race that the information highway provides 24/7.
Let go that maybe I won't be in prime time for people to learn about my newest blog post or see what so-&-so is up to today.
Let go that a whole other world that I immersed myself in for years now--will still keep moving and rolling, while I sit here, in stillness, in silence, in peace with my own information highway running top speed in my head.

I had to let go of the distraction and deception of feeling connected to something so much greater than myself--to actually allow myself to lean into a source so much more powerful than downloading speed--so much more larger than the world wide web.

I needed to let go of my need to feel connected to connection.

So I could finally be connected to the highest part of myself.

12 comments:

Julie Gibbons said...

Oh, Connie - your posts just now are resonating so perfectly ...

Here we are connecting, in a different time zone, in a different country. Because ...

Anyway, thanks for this glimpse into something bigger than just your morning routine.

faerwillow said...

"I needed to let go of my need to feel connected to connection"

such truth in these words you have written...i too found that i had lost sight of the path i was once on due to traveling about in this here little land...

i start my morning in silence...allow myself to be as i am and nothing more...the quiet stillness of each day...then i go about starting my day...

when we allow oursleves to be real and fully honest with ourself i think we find what we are seeking and wanting in order to fulfill and nourish our spirit...

a beautiful post richly abundant in such wise words...thank you so for sharing...much love light and blessings~

Amber Jacobs said...

Beautifully put and beautifully understood.

Thank you. :)

page said...

very nice connie. i also am striving for a new and more connected morning ritual. love to you.

Carla said...

Inspiring - as usual ... :-)

Megan said...

It's amazing how important your morning time can be, that the way you start your day can dictate your day. I struggle with this as well, trying to get enough sleep to last through the day and still getting to work on time. Though, after reading this, perhaps I can work in some meditation time once I get here, though it's not the same thing, it could be a great start. Thanks for the post and inspiration.

Sherry said...

Yes. You are so right. I have had a goal of really sticking with my quiet time and prayer... However, I have been letting the shiny red laptop get between me and what I know I NEED everyday...let go. I am and I'm glad you see it too. You will find that everything is still there waiting when you are done and you will be renewed. =)

M said...

Truly powerful post! Thank you so much for sharing this journey! Very inspiring...I have to figure out how to act like this with 3 young kids, a starting practice as a creativity coach, as a shy artist and busy bee in my own house. But I have the same intention: to connect deeper and deeper to my higher self, to let go of the ego that is afraid, that lacks confidence and shine my own way! I'm already grabing pieces and bits here and there over the day and it feels good...

warmly,

M

Daisy Yellow said...

Such a thoughtful and perceptive post, Connie. My mornings go much more smoothly if I take a few moments to have a cup of tea and draw or read after taking the kids to school. Sort of a mental reboot!

Leah said...

Beautiful post, Connie!! I love my mornings much more when I don't worry about the stuff in the email box and tend to myself first.

Jeniffer said...

Amen!

Turning off the computer now...

Tracy Carlton said...

Om to that Sister!

Oh yes!

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