A few weeks ago I was chatting with my friend Elena when I told her that I was nervous about starting my Yoga Teacher Training program because I wasn't sure how I was going to do everything. With out a pause Elena responded with "Are you crazy? Look at how much you've done in such a short period time already. You can do this."
I never looked at it that way. But you know what--she's right.
A year ago today I was back teaching in school. I was planning on launching my very first online workshop: Art Journal LOVE Letters--and I was--I will admit it--miserable for the most part. I wasn't happy with my life---because I had this burning feeling that there was something else I needed to be doing. Another way to express my life.
And here I am--a year later, and I can't believe how much I have done in such a short period of time. Seriously. It's kind of nutty.
If you would have told me a year ago that in a year I'd be working for myself--hosting online classes, having a retreat in October, and going to Yoga Teacher Training I would have laughed in your face. Sorry, I know it's rude. But I would have.
And so here I am. I have a life now that not only feels fabulous and fantastic and full of surprise, juiciness, and excitement....but I also feel that in all this excitement and bliss that I need to slow down a bit or I will miss the pulp that gets stuck between your teeth.
My Yoga Teacher Training started last Friday. Yes, it was amazing. I knew right off the bat when Eric, my teacher, began running off the rules that this was no easy task I was about to venture into. This is going to take commitment and dedication and most of all discipline. Discipline to really define what my priorities in life are--and stick to it. See this baby through hair by hair.
And here's the thing, I did bite off probably a bit more then I can chew. It's true. But I bit it off all for the right reasons...and now I just need to chew my food slowly.
Moving slowly takes a large dose of trust. Trust that everything that needs to be done...will be done. Trust that there is enough time--enough space--enough resources to complete all the things I want to do--as well as those things I need to do. Trust that it's all going to work out ok.
I've been spending my time rushing---sunsets come and go and I barely notice the change of days.
I'm living the life I've always dreamt of--doing the things I've always longed to do--have an amazing man who loves me so--and live in a gorgeous area of the world. I am blessed beyond words could ever say--and I keep running through my days doing, doing, doing--that barely any of it is having time to soak in past my skin .
Like a painting that sits in the studio for awhile--like a flower that is happy to wave in the breeze. I too want more moments of pause. I too want a daily Soulful Hiatus--not just waiting for the end of the year to retreat. So not all my projects happen in lightening speed--not all of my paintings will be born in one week.
But I.....I will be evolving in a grander speed.
And that more than anything, is what we all really need.