(2 Months Later) I'm Ready To Share Why I Cut My Dreads



"In the actuality of, life is the testing ground for the truth of what is important." 


Ever since I was a teenager, I wanted dreads.  I thought they were beautiful.  Cool.  Such a symbol of nonconformity and knowing oneself in my book.

And than last year, shortly after quitting my job and beginning my new journey deeper into my truth, I decided from the depth of my heart that it was time.  Time to be initiated into this *new me*.  So I researched, asked questions, talked to people, prayed, and finally invested in getting dreads--which took me a total of 30 hours to have done.

And I loved them.  I loved them very much.  And when I looked into the mirror--I felt like I was looking at the real me.

I even nurtured them.  I began to get to know them and watch the evolution that happens on your head when you have dreads.  And I began to get attach to them.

Well, not really the dreads themselves--but rather the image and idea that came with the hair.

To me having dreads was an outward symbol of being FEARLESS--independent--strong--different.  Even more than that--I felt they symbolized this deep spiritual journey I had committed myself to as well.

But deep down, the truth is, I wanted to be all those things in which I felt my dreads symbolized.  That's really it.

Than one morning in May I woke up and began my morning dread ritual and realized that I no longer needed a symbol.

It hit me real hard that my dreads were merely a bridge.

A bridge that took me from wearing my truth--to being my truth.

And all of sudden they felt heavy to me.
They felt like they were weighing me down.
Suddenly my attachment to the idea behind them was a mask I no longer needed to wear.

So I picked up a pair of scissors and began to cut them off myself.
Grateful for the amazing lessons they taught me.
Lovingly letting them go.

And when I looked in the mirror--I saw the real me again.

Now I was all those things-
that once only my hair represented.

And the best part is I created space to be even more.

Photo of Leah from Rising Appalachia borrowed from HERE.

Funny thing is that two days after I cut my dreads...Leah from one of my absolute favorite bands: Rising Appalachia cut her dreads as well...and she posted the above photo on Facebook when she did--and she said:

"Lighten the load, strengthen the word."

(Exactly. My thoughts as well.)

18 comments:

Robin said...

Powerful post Connie :)

Eveline said...

Fake it till you make it. I love how you don't need the dreads anymore!

Cynthia said...

"And all of sudden they felt heavy to me.
They felt like they were weighing me down.
Suddenly my attachment to the idea behind them was a mask I no longer needed to wear."

yes, yes, yes!! That is exactly what I felt!

I woke up one morning and I said out loud, "what is that on my back?" It was my dreads. They felt SO heavy. The idea came to me that day that it was time to cut them but I resisted for awhile. I loved my dreads. My husband and all of my children had helped backcomb them when I started the process. Because I followed a very natural approach, it took a long time for them to develop and they had just gotten to the point of really looking like dreadlocks and I was able to tie them up. It was nice.

But it was time to let go. Each day they became heavier and heavier. So I developed a future point, a ritual that I was going to release them. Then finally one day I knew, they had to be gone that day, immediately. My husband cut them for me.

I still didn't have clarity as to why they had to go until they were gone.

Here is what I wrote on my blog:

"Here is the picture I am seeing in my mind now. My dreadlocks came to me to capture all that I am not, to bring into one place the negative thoughts, the negative energy, the social conditioning that had convinced me that I was someone else. They were a statement but they weren't the end. They were the means to let go, to move on, to return to the core of who I am.

Now they are gone and have taken all that with them.

I am released to dream again."

And SO much is happening for me now and I have such a clear vision of moving forward.

I love hearing your story and my heart is reverberating with the same song.

Thank you for sharing!

Cynthia

Amy said...

Wow that is really inspiring Connie. Thank you for sharing this. I like that you called your dreads a bridge. Great

Cynthia said...

Just found this quote: "Wanna fly, you got to give up the shit that weights you down." ~Toni Morrison

Relevant maybe?

Tara @ Aquamarine Art said...

I love this post. (nothing new there then) It makes me wonder what else we use as a 'bridge' in this way.

Gloria said...

Wonderful truthful post and either way, you are beautiful. Have a wonderful day.

Shauna said...

oooh...this gave me chills. wow.

Marit said...

I somehow felt this was the meaning behind you cutting your dreads of... I'm glad to notice it is as I thought and you share the story with us. Enjoy the light, enjoy yourself dear one!

Lisa said...

Beautiful - the post, the wisdom, you...

Linda-Sama said...

funny, Connie....because in three years when I am 60 I plan to stop coloring my hair and will put my hair in dreads!:D silver dreads at 60!

Susan said...

*tears*...you are magic

rachel whetzel said...

I love this, Connie!! I'm sharing with a dready friend that just posted about another gal that cut hers... I think she'd love the place you're in. :)

Lauren said...

Hi... I found your website through Pixie... I found this post you made about cutting your dreads, and I was able to relate so much. I Also was teaching with a Multiple subject credential for preschool-highschool, and had gotten my masters, all while having dreads... 4 years later, I started to feel major shifts in my thinking, and I decided to cut my dreads after I quit teaching... Seemed funny to people who kept telling me I'd have to cut my dreads to conform to the school system, but I quit the system, and then cut my hair and I've been on another learning journey ever since then... What you write about your is so TRUE. I get it... My story is much longer but I'm sure you'll understand mine too... If you're interested, I posted a few times about it on my blog here... (p.s. I love what you're doing here on your website... good works :)

http://visionwise-earthlivity1111.blogspot.com/2009/08/i-cut-my-locks-off-one-by-one-yesterday.html

http://visionwise-earthlivity1111.blogspot.com/2009/09/lighter-and-freed-up.html

Blessings on your path...

mj said...

I recently did the dread trip, wanting to be all the things I thought they would make me look as if I were, then only two months later they felt out of place, and even though I still wanted to look cool and earthy, and funky etc, I realised I already was all that on the surface and beneath, and they felt too heavy, out of place and inflexible. I love your ability to put this into a space where we can all share, reflect and acknowledge our own evolution.

Janey said...

I dig you. :). I don't have words but I love the feeling of finding a kindred spirit that speaks the same language.

somuchtosaysolittletime said...

This is an awesome and true story. Once peace is found in your life, you no longer need things and symbols to represent it. It simply is... ♥

Anonymous said...

Wow...talking about the finding what you are looking for. Your experience is almost identical to mine....I just need to cut them off now. My dreads were a response to my inner desire to be free. Free from the societal pressures about hair. And so the journey began....more than 2 years ago. Now I feel trapped by them, trapped by societal pressure to stay locked (funny thing about life is you can never escape what you don't face up to). I realise now that my freedom doesn't come from anything external. It comes from within.
Thank you so much. Good to know I am on the right path.