In Total "Total Alignment"


The Goddess reminds us that all that appears in our experience is Her teachings. As yoginis we lean into, and practice to stay awake in the midst of it. And we do lose our skin, and do we find our way back, and all of this is our dance of awakening. 


I don't even know where to start.

I've been an absentee blogger for almost two weeks, because my life changed in an instant.  Because what I knew as true--what I knew as "me"--was transformed and revealed in one single breath.  And since then I've had to gather my words and coddle my deepest feelings as they softly align with this new truth of a life I never expected.

All of this---from my arms wide open--to my heart bursting at it's own delicate fabric--is all in the name of total alignment--with my devotion--with my deepest truth--with my lord, my god, my goddess--my Creative Source.  All in total alignment.

Without me ever knowing anything.  I already knew.

Months ago I sat in my dining room and began to tie my shoes.  Nobody was home but my pets and I, and I swore I heard the pitter patter of tiny feet run through my living room and the sound of fainted laughter.  But I dismissed it.  Ignored it.  Claimed it to be a random thought of nothing.

And then I put together Total Alignment--out of my deepest devotion to staying in total alignment with Creative Source and helping others to do the same.  And I painted FEARLESS™--completely giving myself over to my intuitive nature--allowing the paintbrush to communicate with me what it wished.  And what came forth is this...


and this....



And as at I sang with all my heart in front of a crowd of many at the Jai Uttal Kirtan Camp--I secretly prayed that God would use me as she wishes.  That God would grant me the life best suited for my gifts and voice--make me a vessel I prayed.  Make me a veesel.

Then from there I opened my art journal again, because I longed for something more intimate and small. And I painted this....



and this....



And I didn't know.  But I knew.

I found out last Monday--after a beautiful day in Sedona.  Hansel and I learned that we have a little one who has decided to bless us with their presence in our life.  That I am pregnant.  Prego! I, Connie Hozvicka, who has religiously taken the pill for over 15 years--has been touched by a miracle--a complete surprise--a blessing beyond words.  A little itty bitty of my own.  A FEARLESS™ Painter in incubation.

I've always known these seven weeks--even though I didn't. I am in total alignment with Creative Source--more than I can ever imagine possible.  And for the first time in my life I feel at total surrender.  Totally giving up everything to trust and truth.

Because now I can add "Mama" to this journey--this adventure--that I affectionately call my Creative Juicy Life.

And once again, my life will never be the same--and I don't think I've ever been more excited to step full heartedly into the beautiful unknown!

70 comments:

Erica Rose said...

This is wonderful news Connie!! Congrats to you and your growing family. How exciting :)

dawnchrist said...

Beautiful news... congratulations <3

Natasha said...

Oh my gosh!! Yay. I wondered in the email you sent me, but I didn't want to be too nosey!!! yay you. Congratulations. Lots of love. xx

Beth @ To the Fullest said...

Yay congrats!!! What an amazing gift!

Dale Anne Potter said...

CONGRATULATIONS Connie! I suspected as much....LOL
So HAPPY for you!

Kim Switzer said...

Yay! How wonderful! Congratulations to you and Hansel.

Painting Herself Into Being said...

Thrilling! Congratulations to you both. As a mama of two teens, I say that your life will never be the same. This little one will bring you deep blessings and profound teachings. Sending love to you both <3

Blessings,
Sheri

Ellie said...

Congrats to you and Hansel!! You are going to be a wonderful Mama! I am so happy for both of you.

sadie said...

You are so blessed and in the for the RIDE of your life!! Enjoy every thrilling moment. And I agree with another commenter, as a mom of two busy boys, your life has changed immeasurably. All the best to you and Hansel and the sweet angel baby!

darrah parker said...

Big love from one mama-to-be to another!

darrah parker said...

P.S. I am IN LOVE with the second painting!

Nolwenn said...

This is even better when not planned, isn't it ?
This will be a beautiful new journey, you'll see.
I love you mucho.

Stephanie said...

oh what gorgeous news!!! I am truly thrilled for you! What fabulous news...I wish you a beautiful pregnancy! looking forward to hearing all about it.

funny..the minute I saw this post I just knew...wild!

hugs and love to you and your growing belly!
Stephanie

Anonymous said...

Wow! Yippy for you! Tho, that last painting makes it seem like twins . . . hmmm

<3 ashecca

Samantha said...

Congratulations! You are about to embark on a wonderful new journey. Enjoy every minute of it.

thepozbabe said...

OMG! I am so pleased for both of you. Connie, you will make a beautifull Mama. Much love to you both. xx

Barbara Winter said...

What a lucky child! I'm predicting that your new arrival chose you because you'll provide the best possible place to nurture his/her creative spirit...which will be enormous, of course. Congratulations to you both!

sarah samuelson said...

AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The One and Only Elfwench said...

Congratulations!

Sandy Dempsey said...

Oh, how exciting! Big HUGS!! Congratulations! So very happy for you both!

happytrees said...

Yay! This will be your greatest adventure yet!I wish you all the peace and bliss in the world...

Peggy K said...

My dear, you are glowing!!! Congratulations! What a wonderful journey you are on!!

Alisha said...

Beaming for you! :) Welcome to this whole new side of life. P.S. I want to hug you.

Paula - Buenos Aires said...

Congratulations darling! I had been waiting for the news as it had been showing in your paintings for quite a few weeks now. :D
Blessings and much love for the whole family.

Anonymous said...

Love you and your family - especially the little nugget! Carol D

laurie said...

oh, connie, i am so happy for you!!!

Lisa said...

Aaaah. Your post put tears in my eyes. The ultimate creation, will completely change your life. Congratulations Connie and Hansel!

Indigo Carlton said...

so. so. so. excited for you and hansel.
just SO!
congratulations!
the ultimate creation!!!

freecreate said...

got the chiilies reading your announcement beautiful sister in light!!! Yay for you and the man...you better paint while you can haha.mwaaaaaaah!

amber jacobs said...

Yay! :)

How wonderful!

Svehex said...

Congratulations! That's great news :) Our bodies know more than our brain.

Deanna said...

Congratulations Connie. What a wonderful new chapter you are starting!!

Inner Artist said...

Oh Connie, that's absolutely the most wonderful news, and what a lucky little Soul to have you and Hansel for parents. To be born into an environment where there is such love, wisdom & creativity is indeed a special blessing for a child. I've also been expecting this, noting all your recent paintings! May your pregnancy be an especially blessed time for both of you as you prepare for your precious little one. Big, big hugs! xxxooo

Marit said...

Connie... you are the most beautiful mama a child could choose to be born to! Congratulations to you and Hansel. Enjoy this special 'belly' time... it IS a very intimate and wonderful time to experience!

Amy said...

Connie!!!!!! Congratulations! I am so excited for you and Hansel to hear this news. YOU are going to be a GREAT mama.

Nicole Rushin said...

Congratulations! This is going to add a whole other dimension to your journey. Now you become three. The woman you were, the woman you are and the small part of you soon to be walking around.

Mary said...

So happy for you! Babies are the best thing that could ever happen in your life <3

LMA said...

YAY! Huge hugs! I am so excited for you and Hansel. My first pregnancy wasn't planned, either, and happened after years of taking the pill. My second was only semi-planned, as she decided to start incubating three months earlier than we'd "scheduled" her. Both have been the biggest joys of my life -- I love their spirits, I love watching them become them.

It's a fabulous roller-coaster ride. Enjoy every second. Big love to you!

Amy Palko said...

Oh my darling, I am so incredibly happy for you. Sending both you and Hansel big hugs from across the Atlantic!
Amy
xx

Julie Gibbons said...

Brightest, Brilliant, Baby Blessings dearest Connie.

Be fearless
xxx

Apple said...

Congratulations!!! Enjoy the journey of motherhood...it is awesome!! :)

Alexis Yael said...

Walk in beauty, mama-becoming!

Karen J/Corner of Creative Chaos said...

About time! You've had so much blooming in your life - this just makes sense. Congrats and many blessings!

NatashaMay said...

This happened inspite the pill? Wow! This baby sure was meant to be. :) Congrats!!!

Lisa Marie Tsering said...

Your news brought happy tears to my eyes! Blessings to you! My son, who is now 3, has been one of my greatest teachers and most beautiful creation. I, and many of your readers it seems, have felt this announcement coming...

Janet said...

Congratulations, Connie! What wonderful news.

PS - You remind me so much of my daughter.

Michelle said...

Connie!! Congratulations to you and Hansel. I'm sure it will be an amazing and fantastic journey :-)

nadia said...

mama connie! congratulations! all the best to you and hansel and the new little bud. ciao@

Darlene Propp said...

CONGRATULATIONS, Connie! You are about to experience the most wonderful thing in the world - creating a new life! May God bless you and your family. (and by the way, I always knew I was pg before I ever missed a period. :0) )

blessing girl said...

Congratulations, Connie and Hansel! May God's richest blessings be yours!

tessyluv45 said...

congrats! That is wonderful news.

Melanie said...

That's the best news EVER! Congratulations! That's utterly wonderful!!!! :D xxxx

Robin said...

Wow Connie, I am truly and deeply happy for you. You are about to embark on the deepest spiritual path of all.... blessings xoxo

Briana, MA said...

Holy shit, Connie! I am so happy for you! Congratulations!!!!

Rebekah said...

Congratulations! That is amazing news!
Isn't it funny how we often 'know' things before we actually know them? xx

Bowl of Sunshine said...

This is beautiful Connie. Congrats Congrats to YOU! I actually got goosebumps reading this... you have a way with words, a way with art, and a way with letting us into your inspiring world.
Thank you, and bless you! :D

Rabbit Hole Report said...

Congratulations, Connie! Thank you for sharing how you "knew" before you knew. I wish you, Hansel, and the wee one much health and happiness.

Tessa said...

Oh wow.... what a nice blog!!

And these pages are amazing. Love the green pregnant belly :-)

xx Tessa (the Netherlands)

Fibra Artysta said...

Oh I'm so very excited for you! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! :)

Andrea said...

Oh My Beautiful God!
This is amazing.
Congratulations Connie.

cath c said...

how wonderful! now your real journey truly begins :)

Red Shoe Artist said...

The HUGEST... the BIGGEST... the most GINORMOUS, congratulations to you, you gorgeous thing. OMG what a fantastic Mother you will be.
Sending you and Hansel really big BUG HUGS and best blessings.
Love always
Red

Rochelle said...

Having written an enormous comment on your most recent post, I found my way back to this to read the news. Love love love love to you and Hansel and the itty bitty lucky ducky or duckette!

sylvia said...

Goosebumps! I am really happy for you. That little tiny one is truly blessed for having chosen you!

Dovelily said...

I’ve been away from your blog for awhile, but I am happy to see this joyous news! Congratulations to you and your hubby! I’d say you knew, all right, lol, if your paintings were anything to go by. Congratulations again!

darlene said...

Connie !!!! i am so happy for you love, congratulations on this new adventure xoxoxox

Alma Stoller said...

Connie, I am so very happy for you.
It really is a blessing in every way imaginable.
This is a wonderful time in your life and it will only get better. It will enrich your life in ways you can't even think possible. I am so very happy for you and Hansel.

Read a lot about what is happening within and ask a lot of questions.

Now, go get yourself a good midwife and rock this pregnancy with all the heart and soul you've got in you.

much love to you,
Alma

Lori said...

Sounds funny as I am brand new to your world, but I knew the second that I saw "the hulk goddess". I'm the happy mom of 3 boys and a volunteer art goddess for the past 18 years at my kids schools (middle man just started college).
Thank you for inviting me into your world. I am SO looking forward to BIG!!!

Love and a million hugs to your itty bitty one!

aimee said...

i am so late to the congratulations party! SQUEAL!

Biomouse said...

I'm later than Aimee, but I appreciate the good company- congratulations you beautiful desert goddess!! Okay, now for the audible *squeeee*!!

Loves and hugs and lightning bugs!

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