Stop Thinking Never

Photo by my beloved HANSEL.  

A year before Hansel and I moved to Arizona, we came here on vacation to Sedona.  One of the days we spent hiking and got ourselves a little lost.  When out of nowhere this great guy--who I believe was some kind of park ranger--walked with us and guided us back to where we started.  As the three of us walked together we came across this huge house snuggled away in a beautiful landscape.  Immediately I said "Yeah, I'll never live in something like that."

Just then, the ranger guy stopped, grabbed my arm, looked me in the eye and said "Never say never.  You have no idea what lies ahead for you and anything is possible."

I took this as a huge oracle in my life at the time.


So huge that his comment alone burned away any doubt I had in my mind that Hansel and I could live the life we spent hours upon hours dreaming about.

A year later Hansel and I were packing up our Geo Tracker that had over 165,000 miles on it and driving across the ol' US of A to start a new life.  And here's the thing---we had a HUGE list of obstacles we encountered again and again between that walk with the ranger in Sedona and the day we stepped foot into our new apartment in sunny Phoenix, Arizona.


One of the biggest obstacle being money.

But I see now that it all came together so perfectly and gracefully.

Because we refused to believe in never.

What's my point?

Well, I was just sitting here blog surfing when I came across this blog that was giving something away.  Everyone was encouraged to leave a comment in hope to win--and I was really saddened by the comments that were left.  Woman after woman wishing they could be the one to win--and stating how they could never afford this product because A,B, and/or C.

Never.  Nevernevernevernevernevernever.

The word itself makes me sick.

Since my moment with Sedona ranger guy I've totally abolished that word from my own vocabulary.  And in doing so I took back my power as an individual.

Reading those comments felt like each woman was hemorrhaging their power.

And over what?  A product?

Yeah, I know it sounds just as simple and harmless as seeing a mansion in Sedona and blurting out I'll never live there--but honestly--words are heavy.  They hold weight.  Especially when you write them out and declare them in some fashion as such.

I get it though, the real truth about that give-away is NOT that those women could never afford that product--it's simply that they really don't value it enough to pay the full price.  (That happens all the time online.)

But if we're quick to leak our power out to things that don't really matter to us as much--how much power are we leaking over the things that do matter?

How many times are you looking at your own dreams and saying never this or never that?

I want to be the Sedona ranger guy and grab you by the arm and tell you to stop it.

He was so right.  So very right.  I had no idea what was waiting ahead for me.  I had no idea that I would have the life I have now---and that my dreams would become realities--and sprout new dreams.

I just had to stop thinking never--and start thinking
Why not?


jane louise said...

"haemorraging their power"

i haven't told you enough lately how amazing you are Connie...

here is to clotting up the leaks of the world and let the juice flow

Helene said...

Love it. Need to remember this.

Paula said...

Oh dear blossoming, blooming, flowering, dreamer-of-big-bigger-biggest dreams, angel-mama-woman-girl, you are so, so right about this, and I truly wish people who have yet to could really HEAR this message. I guess they will when they are ready, but it still hurts to see people hurting because they have given all their power away. I know what you say is true because I have seen it's magic in my life time and time again. I guess all we can do is keep sending what we know out there so the ones who are ready will receive. Your light shines so bright! XOXO

Lisa said...

Never going to forget this message.
Never ever.

p.s. You are awesome.

Kathleen Conard said...

Your post was a great encouragement and reminder. For many years I was called "Pollyana" because I was always looking at the bright side of things. Then, over time, I allowed the negative around me to drag me down. Once I realized what was happening I began working to reclaim that positive attitude that used to come so naturally to me.

One thing I learned through all of that, though, is that I wasn't in touch with who I was when I was "Pollyanna". I just wanted to believe everything was going to be o.k. because growing up, so much wasn't o.k. and I was living in fear of being out of control.

I am so thankful for the way God gently got my attention and has been helping me to not only learn who I am - who I was created by HIm to be - but also to accept the way things are and trust that with His help I can overcome anything and achieve all He has planned for me! xo

Acts of Kindness said...

Thank you Connie.
I just came from work, which I am starting to hate so much saying that I am never going to get out of there and that I am in this rut where I don't know what to do...
Again, thank you, because I believe the universe gives you the messages you need to hear.

Tracie said...

a similar thing happened to me about 15 years ago- but it was my Mom that made me re-think my words - very big lesson for me then and by God, if she wasn't right!

Samantha Jenkins said...

Yes it's all too easy to go into never-land ...all too easy to feel like dreams can never come true ...thanks for grabbing us and reminding us of this

Cheryl said...

I agree with you about those women in the comments section. They make me sick, actually. I learned about this in my Logic class. It's called "The Declining Utility of Money". And never is a long time to go without what you never knew you could have. You've come a long way, baby!

Rita said...

Great post! I know I need to be vigilant with what I say to myself...and even what I think to myself. I keep forgetting. You were my reminder today. Thanks so much, lady!!

Peggy K said...

I'm going to add "never" to my list of banned words. Words like "should" "disappoint" and "judge". Yep, that's one more word I don't need in my vocabulary.

You really are an inspiration, Connie! Thanks for this beautiful post!

Denise said...

I come from a "never" background and one of the big lessons I learned was from my husband (who didn't). He always said that the statement 'I can't afford it' is USUALLY untrue. You could actually buy that car, that house, that X...but it might take selling everything or working three jobs or...whatever, but you could afford just choose not to-- choose to afford something else. And it's true - we do have much more power than we give ourselves credit. And really, youre right. It's taking back your power to say: I choose not to buy that product because I'm choosing...what? Groceries? Medical bills? Savings? What a wise choice! Thanks for this post - a good one!

Alice Braga said...

Words are our biggest creative tools. Even bigger than some of your brushes! LOL Thank you for the story and the glorious photo. So glad you made your way to your heart's home.

nadia said...

hey beautiful connie! your words are magic in my ears and today I am going to focus on "maybe"! big hugs! ciao!

rachel awes said...

YES to dreams! YES to letting loose w/your whole life!
+ YES to sedona! (was there last year w/group of amazing women! soooo inspiring + beautiful!).

Natasha said...

I hear you. My heart hears you and its OH so happy. Love you love you love you

Steph said...

Ooooh, I really like this post. Thank you.

PURA said...

Great words - thanks for sharing.

Amy said...

I really needed to read this today, thank you!

Annie said...

What a marvelous first visit to your blog. Sedona is such a magical place. The ranger was your guiding angel, for sure.

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