I Believe In Magic


Winter Solstice
Winter Solstice.  December 2011.  Acrylic on Vellum Bristol.  35" x 23".


Back in early December, two nights before I learned I would have a son, I had a very vivid dream.  

One of those dreams that immediately after waking you have to write it down.  
One of those dreams that you know is rich and abundant with truth and meaning.  
One of those dreams that you never forget.

I dreamt that I was principal of a school.  But this school was actually held in a very old, robin's egg blue house that had a huge oak tree growing in the front yard.  My vice principal was my friend Andrea, and in my dream she came to me wearing a periwinkle blue pencil skirt and jacket to say that there was an owl flying around the school diving at all the children in the classrooms.  I told her to open all the windows facing the tree and to gather everyone outside--that I was going to catch the owl and get rid of it.

Next, in typical Connie dream fashion, I was crawling in a small attic space and out through a window, about to step onto a huge oak tree branch.  The owl was tan in color facing me when all of a sudden a little boy grabbed my leg and said  No.  Don't grab the owl, it is suppose to be here.  It lives here too.

I remember looking at him in my dream and knowing so deeply that he was my son.  That this little boy was my child.  That we were connected.  

That's when I woke up and grabbed my journal.  After that I looked up owl medicine/totem on the internet and found this:

Owl knows that all apparent manner of death is in fact a liberation into new life.  Something must first be cleared away for anything new to be born.  When a person moves, leaves a job or relationship, has a baby, adopts a new animal friend, something in the old life had to die for the new to be created.  At the time it may seem incredibly painful because we have been taught that death is an ending, not a new beginning, and what is in the process of being born is always more beneficial than the old.  (From Owl As Totem)





Yesterday was officially my due date.  I spent the morning at my doctor's office with Hansel and my little guy seems to be doing well.  I have dilated 2 centimeters and effaced 50%.  Go for long walks, my doctor said--and rest.  

Friends are calling, texting, and sending emails and gifts.  

Life has slowed down and it rained yesterday in the desert.  

All this time during my pregnancy I have swam through an ocean of emotions and its my dreams that have been my greatest anchor.  It is my dreams that have showed me facets of who I am becoming--who I have been--and who I am here to serve.  It's in my dreams that I have learned who walks beside me and how much radiant love exists in this beautiful world.

I have always been devoted to intuition and somewhat skeptical of magic--until now.  

For now I see how dreams are seamless like magic.  How they  effortlessly dance into your waking life when you sincerely choose to be awake.

I see how Earth's creatures, the plants, the weather, the sun, the moon, the stars and every shade of beautiful that the sky can conjure up are all part of this dream.  How the people in my life--past, present, and future can move fluidly around me, through me, and disappear without attachment.  How I am ageless and wise and foolish and everything and nothing. 

I am truly grateful for this life.  For what it was--for what it will be--and for what it may never succumb to.

But I am especially grateful for what it is.  

An awakened dream.
Magic.
A blessing.

14 comments:

Eco Yogini said...

i love this post Connie!!! (I believe in Magic too :) ).
Sending you Rest, Strength and many Blessings on your upcoming Miracle!! :)

sylvia said...

Wonderful post! Sending good vibes your way :)

Netty said...

Loving your wonderful painting Connie and look forward to hearing of the birth of your new child, such a blessing. Happy PPF, Annette x

AJ said...

Beautiful post and painting Connie, sending Big love to you Hansel and your little one.
Big love
AJ :-)

Amy said...

What a great dream. I never write my dreams down, and then forget them. Maybe I should write them down when I wake. I'm glad you and baby are doing ok.

Monika said...

What a beautiful post. The painting is gorgeous and the lesson is just perfect. Looking forward to hearing some baby news! SO close.

Little boys are so much fun. You are going to have a blast!

Kathy, PaperPumpkin said...

Incredible! Beautiful painting, amazing dream. Best to you and your new son!

Michelle Turbide said...

My deepest love for you on this journey of birth for you and your family. I just found you recently and have been singing your praises. I am hoping to take your next BIG course.

As for this next journey you are embarking on; It is the most amazing, stretching, challenging, and rewarding journey of life. I wish you a beautiful birthing. I am sure that you will do wonderfully!

Peggy K said...

Love everything about this post! The update on you and the little guy, the video, the music, the message. Love it all!!
You are in my thoughts, beautiful Mama!!

bohemiannie! art said...

Beautiful post Connie. I'm so happy that you're baby is due any minute now and that you're living and learning from your dreams. My birthday is Monday so I know it's a GREAT time of the year to be born! :)

Thank you so much for your patience with my impatient emails last night in getting the link for 21 Secrets. I'm thrilled that you're teaching a workshop!

Lou Belcher said...

Connie... what a beautiful post. Just dropped by to tell you I'm thinking about you and sending you strength for your wonderful adventure. Great happiness to you and Hansel in meeting your little boy.

LouLou

Kerimae said...

I'm new to your blog and enjoying it very much. Just wanted to say I'm a week past my due date today and I can totally relate to the waiting part. Your painting is beautiful.

Blessings!

Gutsy Arts Girl said...

Connie, Every day I anticipate the email alert - pre-written that your beloved hits PUBLISH...
HE'S HERE! :-)

duaa said...

lovely post...WOw..that really is magic! The painting is absolutely beautiful.the colors are so vivid and vibrant and I love how you made the owl and the woman.Its a wonderful and quite unique way to explain your dream.
Thank you for visiting my blog: ibreatheit.blogspot.com .I hope you visit again soon.
Your new follower,
Duaa

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