Mama Curves



Mama curves


Saturday morning I showered, got Phoenix fed-dressed-and handed over to Hansel, grabbed my yoga mat, locked the door, got in the car, and drove.

Just like that.

The first time in nine weeks I was on my own--away from my little sweet pea.

The first time in months I was on my way to my beloved yoga studio again.

My body has been craving asana.  Like deep down in my marrow.

And every time I thought I had an opportunity to practice, I'd roll out the mat, move into child's pose--and fall asleep.  

Guess the body knows what it needs--more than we think.

And this Saturday, my body spoke to me in ways I've never experienced before.  The poses didn't feel fluid and natural like I'm used to.  Like I remember.

Downward facing dog?  How the hell do you do that my hamstrings screamed?  
Runners lunge?  Are you kidding?

All through my pregnancy I struggled with doing yoga poses--and it was rough because I was also working on my year long yoga teacher training program.  

Eventually, around February,  I stopped doing yoga on the mat and my body has paid the price--not to mention throw a difficult labor and hardy postpartum experience into the mix.

But everything is how it's suppose to be.  I'm not going to beat myself up over what I didn't do--instead I'm going to embrace and appreciate what I can do right now.  

And that is be in my body.

A body that feels foreign to me.  A body that's tight and crunchy in some places--and extra fleshy and bulging in other places.  Though a body that possesses a new kind of confidence.  A new type of strength.

I'm proud of these Mama Curves I have now.  Proud and in awe that my body spent the last year creating life.  That through my own physicality I brought a beautiful Soul into this world.

And that is what I greeted for my first time back on the mat.  A new me.  A mother.  A strong woman.

It's this strength--this inner divine--that inspires me to move my body now.  Not vanity or ego or what numbers appear on any scale.  Not fulfilling my teacher training requirements or some kind of image of what a yogini should do or look like.

I move on the mat now in honor of this beautiful gift I have.  This body.
This incredible, soft, nurturing, supportive, thriving body. 

I move on the mat to pay respect to the great mother herself--Mother Nature.  To the sun that touches my skin each day, the earth that rises to kiss the soles of my feet, to the wind that tangles itself around every curve, every crevice, every muscle that I possess.  

I move on the mat to pay homage to my family.  To the women who have come before me.  To the man that supports me and to my son that has opened my heart even wider.

I move on the mat for those that can't.  Who have given up, experience hardships or trouble. Who are weary.  

I move on the mat as a prayer of gratitude.  That I have this body

Mama Curves and all.

11 comments:

kelly barton said...

you simply fill me up with thought of
amazing goodness. my youngest is
now 18. soon out of the house off
to nursing school. the two other pixies
on their own too. and i still have mama
curves. gone for many years and now
the love of 47 is bringing them back.
i rarely embrace them. rather i curse them
and allow negative thoughts control a nite
out.

but your words of respect, homeage and honor give
me the space to stop and hold it for the beauty of years behind me.

before i read this i was reading about the retreat in oct and may. it looks amazing and i crave the yoga and renew part and of course the painting.

much love to you chickadee. your story truly nudges me. so happy we have connected.

peace.

Quinn said...

Mama Curves,

You are beautiful in every way. Work it, girl, work it.

~Quinn

Karen C. said...

So great to see you yesterday, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!
xoxo

Monica Owen said...

Delicious.

Lisa said...

Freakin' beautiful. Yup. Beautiful.

Jane Wetzel said...

awesome post....

Lyna G said...

Always inspiring and honest and moving. Beautiful.

Stacie said...

Thank you for the reminder... that this body, the one currently moving however painfully through each day... is a still a gift. Mama curves, age, issues. Now to start getting on with getting on and starting yoga instead of just thinking of it. Beautiful post!

Barbra @ Collage Ideas said...

Dear Connie,

Bless you for loving your Mama Curves and expressing it so eloquently.

Barbra

Molly said...

Connie,
This was such a beautiful blessing. It just brought me to tears. Thank you for reminding me of how beautiful our bodies truly are...all of them...all shapes and sizes. You are a tremendous blessing to me!
Love and blessings,
MOlly Freibott

www.fsdsolutions.com said...

Awesome blog.

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