Stop Thinking Never

Photo by my beloved HANSEL.  

A year before Hansel and I moved to Arizona, we came here on vacation to Sedona.  One of the days we spent hiking and got ourselves a little lost.  When out of nowhere this great guy--who I believe was some kind of park ranger--walked with us and guided us back to where we started.  As the three of us walked together we came across this huge house snuggled away in a beautiful landscape.  Immediately I said "Yeah, I'll never live in something like that."

Just then, the ranger guy stopped, grabbed my arm, looked me in the eye and said "Never say never.  You have no idea what lies ahead for you and anything is possible."

I took this as a huge oracle in my life at the time.

HUGE.

So huge that his comment alone burned away any doubt I had in my mind that Hansel and I could live the life we spent hours upon hours dreaming about.

A year later Hansel and I were packing up our Geo Tracker that had over 165,000 miles on it and driving across the ol' US of A to start a new life.  And here's the thing---we had a HUGE list of obstacles we encountered again and again between that walk with the ranger in Sedona and the day we stepped foot into our new apartment in sunny Phoenix, Arizona.

HUGE.

One of the biggest obstacle being money.

But I see now that it all came together so perfectly and gracefully.

Because we refused to believe in never.

What's my point?

Well, I was just sitting here blog surfing when I came across this blog that was giving something away.  Everyone was encouraged to leave a comment in hope to win--and I was really saddened by the comments that were left.  Woman after woman wishing they could be the one to win--and stating how they could never afford this product because A,B, and/or C.

Never.  Nevernevernevernevernevernever.

The word itself makes me sick.

Since my moment with Sedona ranger guy I've totally abolished that word from my own vocabulary.  And in doing so I took back my power as an individual.

Reading those comments felt like each woman was hemorrhaging their power.

And over what?  A product?

Yeah, I know it sounds just as simple and harmless as seeing a mansion in Sedona and blurting out I'll never live there--but honestly--words are heavy.  They hold weight.  Especially when you write them out and declare them in some fashion as such.

I get it though, the real truth about that give-away is NOT that those women could never afford that product--it's simply that they really don't value it enough to pay the full price.  (That happens all the time online.)

But if we're quick to leak our power out to things that don't really matter to us as much--how much power are we leaking over the things that do matter?

How many times are you looking at your own dreams and saying never this or never that?

I want to be the Sedona ranger guy and grab you by the arm and tell you to stop it.

He was so right.  So very right.  I had no idea what was waiting ahead for me.  I had no idea that I would have the life I have now---and that my dreams would become realities--and sprout new dreams.

I just had to stop thinking never--and start thinking
Maybe?
Why not?
How?

This Life's Parade

I am 30 weeks pregnant today.

No matter how much I slather my belly with oils and creams
Those stretch marks are gonna come.
No matter how hard I work to prepare, be ready, have this or that or anything
Life is gonna arrive with it's own unique parade.

All I can do is listen.
Be fully present.
Be here for each morsel of this existence.

And I've decided
(After all these years of talk)
That I'm finally ready to slow down.

So please don't be alarmed--
When I am not around as much.
I've just joined a new procession--
I've left the old brigade.

It's time to find a new rhythm.

Time to embrace a new pace.

A *New* BIG Goes On Sale Today!!!

My little guy is expected to arrive late April and I have been mindfully and lovingly making space--not only in our home, but in my life and heart as well.  
And here's the thing....I love BIG.  
I love it with all my heart--and it is one of my greatest joys in my life to share the FEARLESS® Painting Process with other women and guide them on their path for those 6 weeks.  
I debated to just take a break from BIG until this Summer when sweet Gummi will already have made his grand entrance and (hopefully) we'll have settled into a nice pace....but that didn't feel right.
The beauty of BIG, for me, is that I learn and am inspired incredibly each time by the women that grace me with their courage and creativity in BIG.  It is truly an Adventure--but more like a deep journey inward.  Because of this, I feel it is important that I share BIG one more time before taking a break--but this BIG that goes on sale today will be a little different than the rest--and will be at a much cheaper price  as well to compensate for the difference.  But it will still be an amazing FEARLESS® Painting Adventure intended to touch your heart, deepen your connection with your Creative Source, and  strengthen your confidence as an Artist.
For this 10th Tribe of BIG that starts Sunday, March 11th--I will only be offering Package #1--and in Package #1 you will receive everything but the weekly online chats.  That means all weekly videos, discussions, pdf's, inspirational emails, and personal feedback will be available.  But I will be taking a break from doing the online chats.  
This feels right--and I'm super excited to journey with my next--and 10th Tribe of  FEARLESS® Painters to venture through BIG!!!
To learn more about BIG, to read what past FEARLESS® Painters have said about this great experience, and to register please go HERE!  
And--please note, I limit registration every time to insure that everyone receives the love and attention they deserve!  BIG always sells out--so act quickly!! And if you would like a payment plan, don't hesitate to email me for details.

BIG $95.00Sunday, March 11 - Saturday, April 21, 2012



I can't wait to paint FEARLESS® with you!!

Snippets From The Studio

Just a few snippets from my studio this week.  No painting.  No Art.  That painting you actually see hanging on my metal shelves is the one that I created for my wishBIG workshop: Let It Loose coming up in the Wish Studio Winter Ecamp real soon!  But other than that....because I'm still nursing a cold...the only thing I've done in my studio this week is play my beloved harmonium--and you'd be surprised how healing it really is.

And guess what---BIG goes on sale this Monday!!! A new tribe starts up again March 11th!  See you then!

Basically....How I Run My Business

Just a little doodle I did!

Here's something I've never shared with all of you before.  Last year--and even a few months before last year--I started working on major plans to open an actual brick-&-mortar Dirty Footprints Studio here in Arizona.  We're talking serious plans where I pulled in the help of a serious business coach, a few business consultants, and even some folks from my bank to help guide me to make this happen.  I did market research, looked at various buildings, and I even had a "business plan"--which in my case looks more like a FEARLESS® Painting / map--then it does anything Warren Buffet might see come across his desk.

But anyways, my whole reasoning behind beginning this journey was three things.

1.  Even though my heart really wants to make Dirty Footprints Studio's world headquarters in Costa Rica, I felt why not give it a start here where you are already.  Sort of a "test run".

2.  It seemed like the next step I should "logically" do in building my business.

3.  My pride and ego wanted the challenge of making this happen.  I'm admitting it.

So, forgive me,  I'm going to leave a lot of the details out and skip right to mid-August.  It was summer time here and I found the perfect place.  It had huge ceilings and very cool cement floors--perfect to get messy on--and it was in the perfect area--and I wanted it.  I wanted it bad.

It was a bit out of my budget--but my clever mind came up with endless possibilities to make it happen.  I told Hansel, my friends, family, and business consultant team--and everyone was just as excited as I was and supportive up the kazoo.

Then shortly, one day I woke up, ready to take on the world, and started driving to the place to talk to the leasing agent when I felt it.  I knew.  Like I had heard before years ago when it came time to quit my job--that same strong and confidant voice came to me again and said No, don't do it.  Not here.  Not now.  Not Arizona.  This is not your dream.  

And every ounce of my body knew this was not what I was suppose to be doing.  I grabbed my cell phone, cancelled my appointment, and turned around and went home.

A week later exactly I learned that I was pregnant.  And I was beyond relieved that I never went through with the building.  I would have been way, way, way over my head--and Dirty Footprints Studio which brings me so much fulfillment and joy to my life already--would have turned into a trap for added stress and hardship with the new circumstances at hand.

The thing is--during my whole planning, researching, and hunt for the perfect place of Dirty Footprints Studio, I was not being directed by my heart.  I could tell you countless times that my heart yelled at me to slow down, be quiet, and just listen--but my mind pushed ahead.  My mind had a better plan.  And my ego, above all, knew what it wanted to quench it's desire to always be the best and to fulfill some crazy BIG dream.

But the truth is, I let go of having a BIG dream anymore.  Years ago my BIG dream was to quit my job and finally live a life in alignment with my truth--a life that I was certain I could support myself from as well. And I did that--I am doing that now.  But in truth--that's as BIG as it gets.  And I'm happy with that.

My real dream is a dream that both Hansel and I share--and have shared for a very long time.  And that is to have our own place in Costa Rica.  We want to be near the ocean and live off the land and in alignment with Mother Nature--and all I really want is a cute little space to host FEARLESS® Painting retreats and to paint and do yoga in.  That's it.  And ok, maybe to some that seems larger than life.

But to me it feels simple.  Sweet.  I envision it without drama or glitter and loads of hoopla.

It's quiet.

On top of it all--I don't want to touch the masses.  I don't want to save the world or reach a million fans.  I just want to be around kindred souls--and I'm honest enough to know that any kindred soul of myself is few and far between.  I just want to attract those folks.  That's it.  Put on my love antennas and gather us together in Costa Rica or until then--online or Sedona.

I want softness.  I want light.

When I was planning, researching, and doing all those things to open a Dirty Footprints Studio here it was never soft or light.  It was hard, rigid, and driven.  It was strategic and highly analytical.

That was the biggest clue that it was all wrong.

All very wrong.

Now, I don't want you to think that I move into anything ever blindly, for that certainly isn't true.  I am a Capricorn that appreciates her research and the comfort of knowing that my mind's on board.

But my captain is my heart.

And many times there has been mutiny on this ship of mine--where the heart became lost at sea.

Luckily, I've gotten wiser with age--and now turn the ship around sooner to rescue her,  even if it means a longer voyage to my destination.

Even if it means letting go of ever having a BIG dream.